With the sickle of Moons
Time’s fine lines
And the patina of truth
The sepia stain
Of days run away
The nightly pain
Of things unsaid.
I will love you
Better than any other
You are my blood
My soul
My lover
Your impress
Carved
Deep in my flesh
Your dark eyes
In the children
We’ve left.
Don’t cry
Don’t fret
I’ll never leave
I will stay here
Through eternity.
The lines deeply entoned with sombre feelings, your verses are short and nice, the rhythm is flowing well
I just 💖💖💖💖💖💖 this, so beautiful
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thank you, Jose
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Your second verse has an ABAB rhyme scheme, i use this too in my poems
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actually, the whole poem uses alternate rhyme, somewhat disguised by the use of proximate or near rhyme. Usually this rhyme scheme is used to covey a sense of conflict, but I'm using it here to convey the notion of duality :)
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Well that would be poetic license buddy no limit no boundaries, i still feel they make a mark in the mind
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yes, so do I :)
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Rich in the colors of love. A beautiful piece :)
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thank you, Tina
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So beautiful
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Very good words!
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This post has received a 14.86 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @johnjgeddes.
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Another great poem! I so enjoy your writing.
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thank you, Diane
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Nice poetry dear
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This post has been ranked within the top 50 most undervalued posts in the first half of Nov 09. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $7.72 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Nov 09 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
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I really like how you started this piece with the unconventional metaphors of cutting and the sickle of moons. It kind of set the tone for the rest of the poem.
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It's the idea of her image being cut into me as if engraved with a chisel dipped in acid
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BTW, the Moon reference goes back to our horoscope signs- we're both Cancers (not that I believe in horoscopes, but it's an allusion)
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Beautiful writings I appreciate the poetry, be well
@johnjgeddes
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I find it very odd just how un-analytical I am, especially for one who claims to be an engineer...
I read the detailed comments of others about your poetry, John, and find myself amazed when I can immediately recognize what it is they've described about your work, things I did not "see."
But my heart sees them all; I feel your poetry. I find it moving and delightful.
Guess I'll just leave the analysis to others... ;)
😄😇😄
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