Saudade ...Absences of the heart

Outside, the storm
Is taking liberties

Careening drunkenly
Down the street
Scattering
Branches of trees.

It’s plain to me
The wind has a purpose—

To rattle the window panes,
Disturb the cat
And make me miss you.

You’re on the other coast
Gone longer than I had hoped,
And it always happens
When I need you most.

It’s hard this time;

My heart breaks
In so many different ways
That when it finally heals,
It will have fault lines.

I want to write
A poem for you
But I’m afraid—

Words are so strong
And I’ll just end up
Covered
In your paint.

It’s futile…

I want the sweetness
And intimacy
Of our beginning
Without the bitterness
Of our struggle,

But I can’t have light
Without darkness
And the words
I write
Are holes I punch
In the walls
Of my psyche.

Anyway,
I hope it’s raining
Tonight in B.C.

I hope you’re safe
And warm—

Because, I don't just wish
You rain, Beloved;

I wish you the beauty of storms.