Reditus

in poetry •  7 years ago 

Reditus

Recoil or I’ll tear the cloth,
clout me best you can,
I am impalpable
indiscernible,
bloodless,
an eidolon breeze.

This ignominy only exists
in your reverie,
your misapprehension,
spurious foibles,
your libertine
scheme.

Derogate all the ardor
damned be your besottedness,
anathematize the spirit
of chicanery,
be you non compos mentis,
a charlatan inamorato.

My cloying fortitude,
pithy be the rip,
an acute surge
to sluice you unsullied,
recoil your imputations and
repute thy valor.

Re-amalgamate luminescent atman,
arise from the tenebrous
odium.

My YT channel since I can not get anything to upload on dtude!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBk3MjXsRH6L9S3IRhASklw

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First, on the video technical level: That hole you found during your forest weekend was so well suited for this video, being so coffin-shaped and sized. And I'm glad to see how much fun you're having during those forays.
Second, you look great. I want to say it, so I will.
Third, after the first third of the video, sadly, the audio overtook your voice completely in terms of dominance in the video. Good thing we've had the text underneath.

Now, easing into the content, "Reditus" has two different meanings that seem pertinent here, the first is "Revenue," which together with "your libertine schemes" can be read as this being a patron piece. The second is return, which fits quite well to a piece opening with "Recoil" as a command, but also in terms of restoration, which here can be both about the person addressed, but also about your own, in terms of self-respect and others. Many questions, on the title alone, and which sort of read they engender.

This piece though, it seems quite scathing. As if the words sought release, burning their way up your chest, kicking their way out of your throat. Wishing insanity on another, after wishing them a loss of love and lust, and to have a spirit that hates fun. So many contradictions, so much ill-will wished.

But, it is on someone who wishes you harm, and must recoil yet seek to harm you, as you impress on them they cannot. This seems like a poem about two that are not aligned at all. And one who is not accepting of his own true nature. But will he accept his true nature if all you wish upon him will come to pass?

But then there's the final stanza, which could be both about the person broken down, hopefully reconstructed properly, but also about you, and your impalpable form. So much feeling, but where does it go? What does it wish for? And on whom?
Ends as a subtle whisper of wind and spirit.

(And this video once again is too close to the shape of my nightmares.)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Guy, what a gift you present in your feedback, always so thoughtful and well presented.

I thought about the poem getting lost in the beat and yet I felt that that in itself was part of the ultimate forgiving of the piece which is found in the last stanza. It's a tough, dark ditty and one that needed to be exhumed, to let the poison out is to heal and nothing serves such a high purpose as poetry (for me).

All said, I am grateful for every hardship, every time my feathers were ruffled, every tear, or laugh to cover my terror, all of it. Not just for the healing that happens when the words come forth and are polished shiny.

The Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, Ho'oponopono, is very strong medicine that I use and it really, truly, shifts the energies(for me)

Thank you.

<3

All of this is admirable. I still wish you faced less hardship, and that less poison was generated. If it comes down to it, you can always turn to cackling to let it all out, as is only proper for a proper witch.

And yes, it is a tough and dark ode to reconciliation, and that comes through.

incredible weaving of language, mood, power & beauty. the evolution of your poetry is magic.

May the well always be deep for those that seek. <3

Thank you, darling Amy. It means the world that you stay so tuned in to me, we that came from the same pond and have been on such journeys. <3 I am in gratitude.

This is some amazing effort! I don’t think I’ve come across another person doing poetry and including a video with it adding in an extra layer. It really sets the mood and gives a nice backdrop for it.

Thank you, enjar.

I have really been into presenting the poems in another format of late -- this was a recently personal favorite: https://steemit.com/poetry/@mamadini/longiniquity

Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment. :)

nice poetry!!! happy Steeming!!!

Thank you kindly @nismhd :)

You're very welcome!

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