residuum
I want to tear it all down, the stars from the sky, the planets too.
You from your throne, thorns from the rose, and that false halo
askew. All your wretched words like inescapable sea trash,
filthy lies, dirty sighs, your smoggy, foggy, murky cries.
All the time I’ve spent caring and doing for you, lost
moments wondering why and how it can be, that
my time and love, sharing, repairing, now turn
to tearing, dethroning, de-thorn-ing the filthy,
funky, film-like firmament that circles this
home. I’m gasping for air, I’ve taken the
trash out and washed the dishes, I’ve
blown you & cleaned the towels too.
I’m teeth and words and will eat
you gone, one letter at a time
until you disappear from the
line, until you are clean to
the bone, free from
me and this con
venience, a
girl in ser
vice fad
ing fr
om
v
i
e
w
.
All pieces are newly crafted and posted shortly after in adherence to the rules of the challenge. All the photos are mine unless otherwise stated.
Entry for Day 7 of 100 Days of Poetry Challenge by @d-pend.
Join the Steemit School here: https://discord.gg/yZvYjfM organized by @dobartim on Discord.
Ya desde la primera línea del poema, sabemos tus intenciones, @mamadini. Y vemos que lo logras. Derribas, eliminas, haces desaparecer al mínimo. Inteligente juego con la estructura del poema. Genial.
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Muchas gracias.
Tu opinión significa mucho. :)
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A very powerful write. Dealing with a narcissist is never easy. I think we all get a taste of it eventually. Glad you freed yourself.
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Sadly, I think you are right about that. heh. It gives one great material to work with via art. ;)
Thank you for reading.
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You're telling me:)
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Thirteenth Step by A Perfect Circle is quite an album, The Noose track in particular came to mind when I read about wishing to take his fake halo down, and him off his throne. Here is a quote from that song:
I like the return to the alliterative style that I always associate with you, as to the slightly darker tone, well, you've got that here a-plenty. A perfect poem to hear you speak out loud (with no accompaniment to your best tool, your voice).
dethorn, dethrone, film-like firmament, filth, like filament across the skies, ah, the words rattle and roll like leaves, like empty bags in the wind. Like old bones in a sack of flesh. Like so much loose change, when one feels like loose baggage, like extra baggage, and the baggage we carry along, it has teeth.
This is a poem that feels, that screams, even if silently, because it does not do for a service girl to let that smile slip off. The teeth might show.
And yet, if I had to hone in on something that juts out to me, as I read this piece, it would be "until you are clean to the bone, free from me."
Even after all of this, it is letting go of this person, rather than him letting go of you. Very Illusions, where everything in our life is there because we've drawn it there. So it is up to us to let go of our own attachments to them.
And because, if we assume this is the same person as in Reditus, then it is still the attempt to let this person grow, to let them go so they could reform. Too kind, you are.
Also, good use of a concrete poem. Great work.
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What the.... that was incredible.. a real piece of art! I love how it was arranged.. wow... I'm kinda stuck for words...
that's rare haha!
Amazing work.... so good! I want to read it a few more times and then maybe be able to leave a more meaningful comment haha :)
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
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@mamadini - the word 'flabbergasted' came to mind as soon as I hit post ha... maybe that's all I need as my review :)
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Love the alliteration and shape of this poem which literally faded fro view. Empowering message as well. Good work.
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Thank you Kindly. :)
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