and small chin, with all that bile spilling over
from your thin-lipped kettle-burnt tongue.
how you can have such a distaste
for women and still be straight.
All dirty in the night.
on the road, with those
flashy blue eyes
and your mean-hearted
stare-glare.
but you never take your wicked
little pointy tongue down there.
Hell, you don’t even care.
otherwise, I’m insane to put up with your
stupid little game.
All pieces are newly crafted and posted shortly after in adherence to the rules of the challenge. All the photos are mine unless otherwise stated.
Entry for Day 67 of 100 Days of Poetry Challenge by @d-pend.
Join the Steemit School here: https://discord.gg/yZvYjfM organized by @dobartim on Discord.
Biting words, acerbic and very witty! Maybe this is only subtly implied, or not at all, but I liked the callback to 'distaste for women' from 'little pointy tongue'. The whole thing is written almost sweetly, in an unassuming tone, to the point that you might not grasp the subtext if you weren't paying attention. That too, I think, is so telling in regards to the subject of the poem. Very nicely done.
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"The whole thing is written almost sweetly, in an unassuming tone, to the point that you might not grasp the subtext if you weren't paying attention."
You are so asute. ;)
Thank you, it is always a pleasure to see you take.
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You know what they say of people of whom it is pointed that they have a small chin?
-That there's someone feeling quite a bit of spite towards them.
I remember when we spoke of another piece about this person before you published it, and I mentioned my dislike of such attention to the physical imperfections of someone, especially as that piece went for a more healing vibe, a more formal tone.
This piece though, is full of spite. Stanza after stanza. Thin-lipped, another instance of calling into question his sexuality (and not the first time).
And no, I'm not saying it's not earned. I'm not saying it is not healthy to let out the poison from your soul now and then. But it is what stands out to me most.
You know, this image, I know it's blood seeping down from the arrow in her heart, but it always appears on first glance to me to be a woman cut open, as if on the coroner's table.
Here though? That's her heart pierced by hateful rays, and now the bile is seeping down her form, to her sexuality.
The way this poem ends is the most telling though. You've mentioned before how rationality is such a trip, but here you are, saying that you're only doing this because you must be listening to your "silly girly brain," except to hope, and to listen to our irrational thoughts? That is a big part of being human.
And yes, that means being spiteful now and then.
Though, there are different forms of "putting up" with games. And maybe something needs to change on that front. Such as seeing him for what he is, not a mean man, but a little child. And it's hard to be angry with little children who misbehave. They deserve our rolled eyes and sighs more than that. They cannot help their nature.
The scorpion can't help but sting those who did it favours.
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For the most part, bad boys have never really appealed all that much to me, or at least for not very long. As I get older, I appreciate kindness in men, more and more. Men like this tend to carry a greyness ... if that makes sense ... that I find somewhat repulsive. It is almost physically painful to be around.
You write is strong and pointed. Cleverly worded, Mamadini.
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I detest bad boys! This one played like he was not when it all started, I would NEVER have guessed him to be the way he really is. I mean, the first gift he gave me was a collection of poems from Hermann Hesse.
He was soft-spoken and seemed like an underdog (I love an underdog) and I had known him for a couple years before anything sexy happened. It was not until I was in deep that Mr Hyde appeared, all red-eyed and nasty.
One of my challenges in life has been staying, as I am the girl that is fast to leave bad situations, poor relations, and played out dramas. For some reason I've told myself that this is my karmic bill to pay, and his also. It's just not so clear cut.
One thing is for sure, he's given me tons of material to work with. ha.
<3
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It doesn’t always work. But if you can get them to bring you into their “circle” — if they have one. You can gauge who they are. Show me a man’s friends and I’ll show you who he is. I think there’s a saying like that. And it seems to be pretty accurate.
If you can see how a person expresses them self around people they’re comfortable with, you should be able to see their true self. It’s almost more important than bringing them into your own circle.
Plus if they are willing to bring you to their group of friends than it could also mean that they’re accepting of you.
Finally, laying out all the expectations from the beginning can help to weed out the ones (who aren’t pathological liars) whose intentions don’t align with your own. Or find the one that does.
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@hrissm, these things are very important! I was NOT let into the circles and that went well against my gut. I prefer not to get more personal, but thank you so much for this feedback. :)
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The one's that hurt you usually do give the best material, but you gotta be careful with the one's with a dark passengers, Mamadini. Sounds like that may be the case with this one.
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Yes I have been there.
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WOW what great imagery you invoke with this poem. There are some "men" out there who think we are just a play toy for them and dont think about the "game" they play with us. This poem is a real eyeopener for some but a great slap in the face to those that treat us not so well.
Thank you for your cleverness and honesty.
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Seeing this artwork again, along with you writing really effected me before I went to bed last night, I felt like I kept waking up, restlessness...
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Lots of Scott dreams this last couple of weekt too... so strange.
<3 U, JP
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I really love the painting mama!
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<3
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