"Food" (you decide whether it's haiku or senryu) - A poem for #HaikuSaturday by @prydefoltz

in poetry •  6 years ago  (edited)

Hi, haiku lovers!

Today is my first attempt ever to write senryu, and doing it for #HaikuSaturday by @prydefoltz is just the perfect occasion.

It came to me as I watched my cat Canela (which means cinnamon in English) torment and eat what was to me an innocent creature (and it is, of course): a gecko.

But the question occurred to me: What do geckos eat. Well, among other innocent creatures like spiders and insects, they eat little geckos to be :/ How cannibally wrong is that!

Here's the piece. I hope you like it :)

Food

                                    Beast just ate poor Gecko.

                                    Geckos eat hatchling geckos.

                                               Changed my mind ‘bout cats.

Thanks for reading.


Text and photo are my own.


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Nature is not ethical that is for sure. It's job and never-ending task is to maintain balance. If ALL the l'il geckos survived then the world would be over-run with geckos and no spiders and beetles would survive and then aphids would run amuk and then there would be no food for anyone to eat and we would all die. The food chain is maintained with predation and the food chain maintains predators. Geckos are cute but not as a swarm. That said ... those cats do like to play with their food ... it hones the hunting skills, but it also can't be fun for the prey. I still have sympathy for the gecko even with its morally-questionable eating habits.

Loved this haiku. It had great story-telling and pivot:)

Well explained, @prydefoltz!♥ I'm still fond of the gecko, by the way :3 I'm just 25% percent less terrified of my cats.

You are a lot more experienced about this than I am. Would you say this is haiku, senryu or what?

I wouldn't worry too much about labels, but it talks about nature and as such could be considered a haiku, but it has clear psychological elements and so could be considered senryu. What would you like to consider it ... I would go with that. In the steemit environ not many people have knowledge of the varied forms of Japanese style brevity and so, I would go for a haiku to be more accessible. If it helps, it is definitely not hokku or tanka.

Well, thank you for your thoughtful advice, @prydefoltz; you're too kind.

I've been reading about Japanese poetry. Short poetry is quite difficult if you want it to work: achieve beauty, euphony and unity of effect. Add to its complexity that haiku must show the reader this sort of revelation or illumination which has come to surprise the poet after deep contemplation. I really like it (love it, indeed).

It's like finally turning the key after trying for a while; then click! And the chest is open.

Thanks a lot! :D