Image by @moeknows
Drenched in emotion
And dry with regret
Beset by tears unshed
Head cloudy
Proudly defiant
But secretly reliant
On soft stolen moments
As I battle rattlesnakes
Forsaking fragility
For flashed teeth
Praying they won’t see
The me beneath
Sometimes, the world demands that you show strength even when you are plagued with weakness. As a family man, I feel that most of my strength comes from my family, and being away from them weighs heavy on my soul. However, I find comfort in keeping that burden obscured. While inside I feel that I lack the energy to deal with the world, on the outside I express tenacity. Do you have any similar experiences or emotions? let me know your thoughts below.
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That is an awesome poem. Sometimes your own strength is just not enough. It is in those times that I know I can always count on God's strength. He sees me as I am and understands.
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I can so relate to this! I feel like I always have to be strong, even when I'm at my most vulnerable. Being honest with ourselves is vital, though, and I see that in your words. Poetry can cut to the heart of things like nothing else, sometimes. Thanks for sharing. :)
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That is so true. thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it.
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(I haven't seen you around much lately)
one typo,
"As a family man, I have feel that "
should be 'felt' that...I think
↑Upvoted↑
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Thank you @jerrytsuseer. I've been around, but haven't really been able to get to too many poems lately. I'm looking to change that though. I just created a new Discord server dedicated to poetry that pushes poets to comment and upvote other poems. Check it out if you get a chance: https://discord.gg/p4uVpdw. Thanks for pointing out the typo too. I fixed it.
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I forgot something @moeknows RE: "Absence of power"
ha ha ha ha...I'll try to check out your server.
Thanks
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Lol. Love it. Maybe I'll try to make mine into a gif.
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I am so tired of having to
LOOK
for something to fit my needs, when I might possibly be able to
Create my own. (I got that one from a post by
@scrooger many months ago)
Good Morning @moeknows
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What beautiful verses. I really was pleased to read this and the contrasts and metaphors you employed.
This matter of having to put up a pretense when your inner life may contradict is a real scenario I have dealt with. I often forget I am frowning in these moments. It is important to ne able to have something physical to kick you into being in the moment. I think being in the moment you realize what you are grateful for.
Since you are away from your family make sure you schedule a special trip with them when you return.
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Thank you. I surely will. I was talking about that with my wife a few minutes ago, actually. I also like how you mentioned the frowning. I tell people all the time that I have the male version of "resting bitch face" which is pretty funny because I generally hold no ill will to people. Thank you for reading, commenting and upvoting.
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"This matter of having to put up a pretense when your inner life may contradict is a real scenario I have dealt with. I often forget I am frowning in these moments."
I can relate to that. In my case, I might be thinking in my mind that I've put on an "okay face" whereas everyone can tell I'm not happy.
I think some times, we just have to admit that we all have our highs and lows. If it's okay to express the highs, why do I have to hide the lows.
These days, I embrace the feeling and try to explore it. I believe that's what @moeknows has done in the poem above.
But don't stay there too long. As you said, everyone needs "something physical to kick you into being in the moment." Mine is family, friends and taking a walk
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Great poem (as usual)
Forsaking fragility
For flashed teeth
Praying they won’t see
The me beneath
Some times, people expect me to be a superman. At least that's what it feels like. I hear things like you shouldn't be jealous, don't react when you feel slighted, and worse of all, don't cry.
At the end, we're forced to forsake our fragility to put up with appearances. The more we do this, the less patient and sympathetic we become when other people express their "weak emotions"
I try to avoid that part. I'm definitely not a cry baby. Neither do I wear my emotions on my forehead. But I always let myself know that it's okay to have these emotions and (moderately) express them.
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That is a very thoughtful comment. I never really thought about the reverse of this and how it affects how we react to others. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
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Smiles
You're welcome
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I have been there most of my adult life, being in charge when I really didn't want to, being away from the family, having to put up a strong front, especially when raising the kids.
Not the same, I understand, but the same feelings. I found it was okay to show a little vulnerability and that it didn't show me as weak, but, understanding or human at best. My kids also realized that I missed them and the time spent together was more precious.
Your words are so very moving.
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Thank you, D. I think it definitely applies to raising children as well.
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You have a wonderful way or portraying emotions in your verse
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Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.
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Just my honest opinion 👍👍
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I know this feeling all too well! As a mom, I take on things simply so other people don't have to. As a daughter, I've taken on things simply because I know others can't, whether it's physically or emotionally.
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Waw...
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the internal rhyme and alliteration scattered through this whole piece honestly left me on the edge of my seat. i had to read everything twice: once to just appreciate the sound of it all, and the seconf to appreciate the strength of your message.
the last line in particular really speaks to the external pressures the narrator is battling and the struggle to remain true to morals, family and the self in a world rife with expectations.
strong piece and a message that transcends, @moeknows, thank you for sharing.
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This is an interesting piece. I think it has three segments, so I'll discuss them in turn.
The first segment, from the first word down to "Soft Stolen Moments" feels strangely fast to me. It's as if we're rushing somewhere. Not rushed, but it conveys movement. It almost feels to me as a spoken word piece, though there's no rhyming or near-rhyming or other cadence-markers to give me that impression, but it's there.
I like this segment a lot.
"As I battle rattlesnakes" seems to come out of nowhere like a stop sign thrust in our face. That starts the second segment, where strangely, all the alliteration feels much slower than the first segment, and almost forced. I did not care for this section. It's also the hardest part of the piece emotionally, where you try to move from baring to covering yourself.
And the third segment, the final two lines, eases us into the dark embrace of quiet. Of relief, even as one hides. There's succor to be had in hiding.
Me, I've closed myself off emotionally from the world for many years. I've been re-opening myself over the past decade, and especially over the past month, as my poetry alludes to.
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drenched and dry.... nice juxtaposition
I wish I had seen this piece before payout closed!
but I think Block Chain Poets will help me stay on top of poetry better
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