Goodnight

It's one o clock in the morning.
I climb into bed after a day of inactivity.
I remember a conversation I had through text with my friend.
All of them were busy nowadays but I optimistically believe that through constant interactions I could somehow keep my friendships.
I had asked her how she was today. She responded that she was fine and that she just got a haircut and sent me a couple of pictures.
But now that I lay in bed trying to fall asleep I wonder if I should have asked myself that question.
How was I today?
To answer that. Today was uneventful , as it usually is these days.
Dark menacing thoughts start creeping in .
"This will always be how it is"
"My life will never get better"
I stop myself, and try to drown them out.
They get louder, tempting me to dive into their abyss.
Before tears could even begin to well in my eyes numbness sets in and I sink.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Suddenly, amidst the chaos that is my thoughs i hear it.
The steadying of my sister's breath from across the room where she lay in her mess of blankets and pillows.
I smile , taking comfort in the light snoring in the dark.
Finally, I hear it.
My heartbeat slowly lulling me to sleep.
I am happy to be alive.