Midday Park Sutra

satorid (67) in poetry • 6 years ago (edited)

Empty Paper and a Pen

Midday parks, a soft breeze
ice cold Malt Liquor,
and the heat of a dying Roach

The Emptiness and Longness
of the day, fills my awareness
The fleeting perception of time
as space slips away

pretty image park.jpg

I use to dream in parables,
now live in shadows of pharaohs

There is no happily ever after
blunts over cigarettes,
from now, until
forever and ever

Afternoon blunt delight, delight
dreading society fear, fear
clear Mind fine, fine
harsh cold reality bye, bye

My companions are Dead Poets
and dusty old books

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or does it explode? Langston Hughes

I catch the glimpse of an OG
writing notes by hand
under the sunlight
next to the sad tree

I still believe
In some sense
of humanity
when I see them
having ideas
and writing by hand

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Langston Hughes

Trying to hear the strangers
talk about looks
and breakbeat hooks

playing hot potato
with a couple of cops

I still write all my poems by hand
The only true friends I have
are the paper and the pen

I still believe, in humanity
when lonely park days
let beauty shine
when I still can
play cosmic tricks,
having ideas and giggles
writing dreams by hand

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die,
life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes

Thoughts are thought
Words are words
What was Written,
has been written

It's such a bore
being always Poor
I wrote it before they said it
I didn't mean to read their minds
My dreams are slipped but who let it?
Let it be, let me be, let it go, let IT out

All I am is everything and nothing at all
All I am is everything and nothing at all
All I am is everything and nothing at all

pretty image park 2.jpg

images by me

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6 years ago by satorid (67)

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madevi (51) · 6 years ago (edited)

Hey man, I have a few issues with your post. This is just my thoughts and meant to help. You write some nice poetry yourself and mingle that with lines from other poets. So, in this case you quote Langston Hughes, a very famous American poet. But you fail to credit him properly, you do not link to a website or original work.

You should use > to create a blockquote like this:

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or does it explode?

And then you should create a link like this [LINKNAME](LINKLOCATION)
This will look like this:

Langston Hughes- Harlem

Also you should create attribution for the photos if they are not your own. You can use a link for that as described above. That will look something like this:

Image credit - imgur

If the pictures are yours, say so in the post.
If you have youtube, instagram, twitter etc mention your steemit account in your bio over there.
I hope this will help you avoid the likes of Cheetah and Steemcleaner.

Madevi

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satorid (67) · 6 years ago

thanks, I choose to credit him that way because just visually for this poem I liked it better, once you add the link then the () goes away, but I get what you mean, still for me it was a format thing, but at any rate, I'll do it properly. =D

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madevi (51) · 6 years ago

Well, I checked out you account and saw that you have a few interactions with steemcleaners and cheetah, which are not helpful and so easily avoided. And even if they are not justified in any way, people will just assume and that will harm your reputation. In the 9 months I have been at poetsunited I have seen multiple cases like yours and how it can hurt. I see a lot of potential in your work, that's why...

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madevi (51) · 6 years ago (edited)

Oh, and while explaining it in my first response to you, I managed to explain it even better to myself...

It is even possible to make the quote be the actual link!
Like this in Markdown::

> [What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or does it explode? Langston Hughes](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46548/harlem)

It will look like this: