RE: Cry for Me (Prose poem)

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Cry for Me (Prose poem)

in poetry •  8 years ago 

I would nix the lines "the mistakes you didn't make" and "stone meats reality." It might resonate more with the more visual words concise and left hanging and echoing in our heads. and replace anti-bliss with another word that gets faster to the point. the poem is short, so concise seems to be the goal here anyway. I love cry for my bones when I'm gone and every other line, obviously. Strong.

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Thanks for the critique and I'm glad you enjoyed most of it :)