Mahamudra

Mahamudra

I emptied out the storage shed
Of my mother's things today
Sadness lingering           from her death
And.   I read about Dzogchen
Mandala of deities spinning around
To catch the sun inside
The cloud.   Yes to realize
Emptiness of appearance and the fullness
Of emptiness, the natural
Order of things.   Two Christmas trees,
Old pictures, some metal shelves
And a hell of a lot of           makeup. My mother
Was a very nice woman who
And her overdose rages through my skull
Reading about Dzogchen and
Emptiness, I cannot seem to
Connect the two together, how
To collect that sadness and
Confusion inside a mandala?

Today I will go to town
To buy a book on Capitalism and
Schizophrenia, wondering
What they have to say about that
While inside my head the spirits
Still guide me in my ways
And I am going to
Stretch my mind to encompass
Them. Inside my
Head.
Blue eyes           vaguely looking
Out upon the scenes of life. And then
Falling towards. It will not do
To pick apart this song in rhythms
And syllable. Ah the sweet colors
Of leaves in letters and the darkening sounds
Of my dreams. It goes that way. I think
I will stop writing for now, nothing
Seems to be coming out even though
In fives I strain the lines coming forth.