The pursuit of happiness

Why is happiness so hard to attain?
leaving all who pursue this rare feeling so exhausted and drained.
When really its just a state of mind that occupies a space in mind,
and everyday I pray I find that space in mine.
I’m just so sick of being sad, its like a sickness that ive had
since I first let my tears hit the grass six feet above my dad.
I asked god to help me deal with all the stress,
but I guess when you're a sinner its an automatic no to your request.
When I rest, I look at life through closed eyes and can adhere...cause only then will you see it clear like lights through a chandelier.
That’s when all your troubles disappear...its a feeling so serene.
visualizing your self running in an attempt to chase a dream.
Only to awake and revisit reality where sorrow never sleeps.
Searching my mind to find what memories to throw away and what to keep.
I’ve been putting alot of thought into my future, so much that i can say
I stay too focused on tomorrow to give a fuck about today.
That’s why I walk slowly through this storm...as water falls upon my face.
No umbrella to keep me dry, I still wont let it slow my pace.
I’m destined to find my way, I’m too persistant to turn around.
This is my pursuit of happiness...one day it WILL be found!