Episodes

in poetry •  6 years ago 

the walls are crumbling.
i remove myself completely.
it's the only way i can survive.
repulsion.
disgust.
shame.
you deserve better.
my stomach is sick like my head.
it twists like the knife i put in my own heart.
hazy memories.
they wont let me forget.
i don't deserve to forget.
i broke every promise i ever made to you.
you are my angel and i beg for forgiveness at your feet.
i will give you the earth if only you promise to stay though i can't imagine why you would.
i am poison, though you were always quite partial to toxicity.
maybe that's why you like me.
how can i love if i hate so deeply.
maybe i am your new self-destruction.
your brown eyed dysfunction.
the dragon without the smoke.
i spent my whole life running from the pain.
scared of being hurt.
maybe i was the monster all along.
maybe that's why i can't escape.

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