To the people who stole my life away
Who tormented me day and night
Who made me think I had to stay
Made me blind without your light.
Who saw my worth and stole it
Who saw my strength and crushed it
Who saw my joy and mocked it
Who saw my passion and killed it.
You saw everything i could have been
You're insecurities turned you green
You hated me for everything you lacked
And made me think I couldn't fight back.
Weak and distorted
Power aborted
You left me for dead
You left me alone
Not even myself for comfort
Skinless existence dipped in vinegar
Burning bitter twisted silent singer
Empty vessle built of burnt with no destination
A sad little girl just searching for affirmation
Looking for love in dark dangerous places
A shred of validation in unfriendly faces
Desperate for devotion to sooth my selfhatred
I learnt the devil comes dressed as all you've ever wanted.
With smiling kind eyes concealing poisonous barbs
That pirce your self worth and burrow deep in your heart
That twist when you run and ache when you laugh
With unbreakable chains that tare you apart
Invisible to the eye as but as real as the hurt.
You struck me down with all of your words
The ones that you said and the ones you implied,
Your actions turned me into someone I wasn't,
So unsure of myself without you I was nonexistent,
So full of your poison, your jealousy and your hate,
You actually got me to think it was all my mistake;
I begged you to love me and I promised to change - and I did.
From the dirt and blood and the bottomless cassum,
I unbroke my fingers and stitched up my tendons,
Using your words as ladder and your abuse as my thread,
I held onto my heart and lifted my head,
And although not the same it still beated and bled.
As i heaved up each step through bottles and white dust,
Steps shattered and splintered and wavered my trust,
But on I went up through toxic fogs
Through leeches and lies and flea ridden dogs,
As i reclaimed my body my muscles grew back
As i opened my eyes the cassum cracked,
I held on tight to my rickety ladder carried on climbing though the air grew thinner,
You wore many faces whilst hauting my journey
And i learned not to blink so you couldn't return to me
I became hard as stone but the then i started to sink so life then made me soft and I grew stronger again.
And through all the shit that I've endured at the hands and words of sadistic on lookers
Dawning on me as i heaved over the ledge
I never had a chance to give my thanks.
Thank you for the doubt that made my mind strong
Thank you for the hate that fostered my love
Thank you for the envy that build up my self worth
Thank you for the violence that made me assertive
Thank you for the assault that taught me to say no
Thank you for that drugs that taught me to grow
Thank you for the addiction that showed me two sides
Thank you for the abandonment that taught me to survive
Thank you for the lies that showed me I was naive
Thank you for being controlling that taught me to leave
Thank you for being selfish that taught me to share
Thank you for the neglect that taught me to care
Thank you for the insults that made me resilient and every contradiction that made me ask questions
Thank you for every single thing that you stole made me steal it back and turn it to gold
You thought you could kill everything you wished that you were
Couldn't stand that a woman was a magnificent person
From the ashes you burnt and the scars that you tore
I was never defeated darling; I was only reborn.