The World Will End If You Do Not Vote For Gary Johnson 2016

Everyone on the left knows that if Trump is elected we will descend into a national socialist dictatorship, aka fascism; while everyone on the right knows if Clinton wins we will descend into international socialist dictatorship, aka communism. Not only this, but if either of these candidates are elected the seas will boil, the forests will burn, the Earth will tremble, and the skies will fall. Fuck! So, now that I’ve got you in the right state of mind for electoral politics, let talk.

As a libertarian in America, I am cursed to listen to both sides of the “debate” in this country. From the CIA News Network to Faux News; from Alex Jones to the Young Turds. One thing has become clear: fear of the OTHER CANDIDATE is the only thing anyone cares about anymore.

It’s a fucking feeding frenzy where everyone is getting off on each other’s fear. If the building was on fire you’d all be trampled.

Regardless of how much you fear Hillary or Trump, you have to understand the other side feels exactly the same way about your candidate. This would all be comical if you people weren’t dead fucking serious. And it would be understandable if it wasn’t every single election, ever.

Having said this, this fevered pitch of political angst that comes every four years is the price of transferring power. One of the brilliant things about the American system and democracy, in general, is that these elections serve as a steam valve for political upheaval, uprisings, and revolutions. Ideally, people would come together and work towards the common interest rather than a balls-to-the-wall reality TV megafight every 4 years, but we can all agree it’s a damn sight better than actual revolutions.

Which team will win the sceptre of power? Tune in November 6th to find out!

At worse, we’ll have four years of a candidate you don’t like. Welcome to my world.

As a libertarian, I’m getting flak from both sides now telling me that I’m really just voting for the ENEMY by supporting the Libertarian candidate. Maybe if you guys didn’t say this every-single-election it wouldn’t seem so retarded to me. I would just echo Penn Jillette’s sentiment and say “Fuck You In The Neck,” but I understand you are afraid of Trump/Hillary and think the fate of the Country and maybe even humanity is on the line. The only way I know for you to rid yourself of this fear is to listen to your political opponents shitting themselves about your side. Fear spreads like wildfire through herd animals and we are all extremely susceptible to this. Look, we have checks and balances and another election in four years. It’s not that big of a deal whoever wins. So chill out and let me vote my conscience.

Because headlines like these are BULLSHIT

But, hey, maybe one of you are right.