A moment of honesty - Is it wrong to watch porn? NSFWsteemCreated with Sketch.

in porn •  7 years ago  (edited)

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I am relatively sure my missus won't read this so I am going to be honest with the community and pose a question to you all now.

NEWSFLASH!

Having children changes one's sex life! Anyone with kids will contest to this.

And to put it bluntly, I like sex. Ideally every day.

But with the recent addition of two kids we are either too tired or one of the kids is awake!

So the frequency of sex has been reduced to once a week if I am lucky.


The Quick Fix

It has been two weeks on this occasion since the last opportunity and Sabrina went out with the kids just now...

And suddenly I found myself instinctively checking out some porn. This was not the plan. It was driven by my deeper male instinct...

I have to use a VPN here in Indonesia but it works just fine.

Naturally I enjoyed it as any man would and have no regrets looking back on it now.

But I am wondering if the world at large considers there to be something 'wrong' with this?

Let me know your thoughts. I am curious. Particularly interested to hear from the women amongst you.


Oh and by the way, that's me in the picture at the top, back in my old life when orgasms were more of a regular occurrence!

I made films for Playboy and Private for around 10 years.

But that's a whole other story I am yet to tell you...

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I don't think that it is a big deal honestly. I personally don't watch, however I'm married with no kids yet. However, if you think that it may be a problem it probably should be addressed with your significant other. Open lines of communication are super important and could help with your concern!

I am afraid to tell her! She is from the south of france and has a bit of a fire to her :)

Which ultimately I love, but I don't want her to feel like she is not enough.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Hey @samstonehill,
I think if you don't overdo it it's okay. It is like everything in life whats enjoyable: You can do it too often. Nowadays porn has arrived in society and people should accept it. I think it could be a problem if you let your real sex life slide or you get a lot of new weird fetishes ;-)
Watching porn is normal! The world turns slowly, changes require time! And the opinion of the world doesn't matter that much. What matters is your opinion and the opinion of your wife. Whats her opinion on the lack of sex? Maybe she is watching porn as well? ;-)

Funnily enough we actually discussed this subject together for the first time last night and she expressed an interest in watching girl/girl porn.... so perhaps we can find a middle ground! Although frankly, we could just do with some more free time and get on with the real thing!!!!

Thanks for the comment :)

I would say it doesn't matter if the world at large thinks it's wrong or right.
What matters is how you yourself and your partner feel about it.

If you feel it's okay, but your partner disagrees. There might be an issue and it might be better to communicate with her and see if a 'solution' can be 'worked out'. My partner would much rather 'relief' me herself then having me watch porn.
If on the other hand she's fine with it. Why not ask her to join in ;-)
Sometimes just asking for what you want or taking a few steps towards it will take you all the way there.

Funnily enough we actually discussed this subject together for the first time last night and she expressed an interest in watching girl/girl porn.... so perhaps we can find a middle ground! Although frankly, we could just do with some more free time and get on with the real thing!!!!

"Sometimes just asking for what you want or taking a few steps towards it will take you all the way there."

Can't add anything more.

First of all, I think you might be missing the nsfw tag (if that's what makes the post hidden).

Second, I'm a prude and I'm not pro porn anywhere. I feel the body is to be shared with one's partner and that's it. I wouldn't be happy if my partner was watching porn, because I'd feel I'm not good enough or he's not strong enough to resist his urges.

I'm sure many would disagree with this view, but you asked for honesty :-)

Thank you. Yes, I asked for honesty... and was specifically interested to hear the thoughts of women on this subject.

My partner and I actually discussed this subject last night, partly brought on by writing this post! She didn't mind that I watched the porn but said she would rather watch it with me and doesn't want to see other men in the films. Which is fair enough :)

She agrees that things need to change! So... all things are perfect :)

And I will let you know tomorrow how that worked out for me! haha :)

Well it's great that you two talked openly about it! Honestly lasts longest they say :-)

It's all a matter of perspective and if your partner's fine with it or wants to watch with you, good for you!

wow man seems like you were living the dream in those days , and about porn being right or wrong, has to do with the mindset, some dont have any qualms about it and some do, depends on an individuals mindset.

It was not as much of a 'dream' as you may imagine. I worked very hard and dealt with some very moody porn stars! But you are right of course, there is no right or wrong. Only personal perspective. I was just interested to hear what the community had to say on this subject :)

Porn in my honest opinion robs of appreciating the real partner you are sharing your body, mind, emotion with. It is very different for a man and a woman's point of view.
It paints a very fake narration on how real life is.
That temporary stimulant can be addicted and can ruin the life long trust-building intimacy.
Humans are meant to commune, not just watching from a distance and jerking off yourself.
I personally have friends who had ED after watching too much porn, but when he is delivered from this addiction, he now appreciates an enjoying life with his mate, whatever size they both are now.
That is my 2 cents.

Fair enough. I appreciate your honest response and respect your opinion.

After working in the industry for 13 years I have a very different perspective on porn films than most people.

To be honest I don't really like it much! But it does serve a (quick!) purpose. And relieve my feelings of frustration without having to trouble my rather tired and stressed out partner.

That's where the magic happens. I understand what you mean on that, but it cannot be the main source of relief as a lot of youngsters out there has resorted into, which becomes an addiction. Addiction in all sorts (to be honest) is not good. I was a coffee addict, and now I am glad that I do not need to always need coffee to sustain me all the time (as an example)

I think it is up to you. If you feel satisfied it is not wrong. Even women do something to get satisfied. We are humans and it is nothing wrong. I am happy that atleast someone is here who can talk about this. Great Post. Following :)

Appreciate the comment. Was a little concerned how the community would react to this kind of honesty! It's a bit of a taboo subject for most. I certainly wouldn't discuss it with my mother :)

Looks like you used to have great fun before.
Any man would say it isn't wrong and if you can't get pleasured from someone you may as well do yourself a favour.
Let's see what others have to say

It seems like the Steemit crowd are pretty open-minded on this subject thankfully! I was expecting to get a proper grilling from the ladies.

Thanks for the comment :)

Woman here.
I enjoy watching porn and for a long time I was ashamed to tell anyone about it until I met my current partner.
I was a bit shy towards him at first to tell him what I like, he still doesn't know the extent but enough for us to both enjoy it together.
I don't care if he watches porn and he doesn't care if I watch it. We don't live together and sometimes don't see each other for a week or two at a time (this is way too long for me) and so yeah.. I like porn!

Thanks so much for your honest response to my question. I really appreciate that. I love your thinking :)

...and yeah, 2 weeks is too long!

Wow😍

Thanks for you wow!

My gf wanted to leave me because of it

Thats crazy @anforo nobody should tell you what to do.

You said it. We are all free :) Despite how much some people love to control the lives of others...

What????? Sorry to hear that. It is a perfectly natural male instinct to watch porn! That's why it represents the majority of the internet.

WHAT???
So interesting, I want to hear more about this.

You will. Soon I will publish my life story on Steemit...

I think you will like it :)

Lol
Check mine posts
Upvote my 2 new posts
https://steemit.com/@crypto-booster

It seems like generally yes the world as a problem with it but I dont think theres anything wrong with it, unless someone develops some sort of addiction which takes over their life.

No addiction for me. After 13 years in the industry I am actually pretty fed up with it. It is so FAKE! But it does serve a purpose when it's been a few weeks and she's too tired and stressed to respond to my advances.

meep

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Nice article :)

Many thanks. Just being honest :)