Do you have any friends that you disagree with?
Our society has these 'big' things that are glibly slid under the rug as things you just don't talk about in public. Religion, politics, and if you are on a college campus almost anything.
Who Made That Rule Up?
This idea that you can't talk about these things only pushes this idea that we are a bunch of weaklings. It's has been manifesting itself in the under 30 crowd as well as the generally entitled entertainment industry as people who are dainty. They throw their opinions and thoughts out in the social media world without having any real dialogue about anything. Look at the comment sections of nearly anything online. It will be a bunch of people that agree, and one or two people that get on and start an insult war with people they will never actually know. Culturally, we have begun taking on these 'safe spaces' and allowing the general masses to adopt this idea that we are unable to engage in on account of hurting people's feelings.
Again do you have any friends that you disagree with?
I understand it is normal to gather around people you are comfortable with - its basic human nature to want be safe. However, what happens when you never step out of that? You are shocked the first time you meet someone that is different then you. Someone that actually believes weed is less toxic then alcohol, or you should be allowed to marry anyone, or that abortion is murder, or that someone actually voted for Donald Trump.
Even that last sentence may have riled you up, and I understand the emotions of peoples experiences that fuel their opinions. But guess what - about half the people you see at the grocery store half a different opinion on these above topics (at least in America)...
The Powerful Can Maintain Relationship While Disagreeing
When you can be friends with people and talk about poignant things, it enables you to do two things -
Learn from perspectives that are different then you...in an actual safe space called relationship. The most impactful people in anyones lives are the people that they are closest too. When you have a relationship that is built on genuine care for each other you are enabled to learn from people that have a different thought from you. This allows you to actually enforce you convictions because you understand the other side, or evolve your convictions if you understand holes in your thoughts!
The second thing is it enables you to leverage influence. If you are right on a certain topic, you want to tell people about it because you care about it. Getting out with a sign and yelling is going to enable real conversation about 0% of the time. Whereas dialoging inside of the context of relationship will allow a real connection with another human being that will enable real change.
Again, do you have relationship with people you disagree with? If not your living in a bubble built on social media that will result in a generally passive life. Powerful people, people of influence, people whose lives matter are able to live in healthy relationships with people they disagree with to bring about real change in themselves and those around them.
Live Big Today and Choose Greatness
I think you're really onto something with the idea that people are growing up having to agree in their social media bubbles. I've read posts on here for newbies, advising them to always agree in the comment section. What an incredibly boring world that would be. SO yes, you're totally wrong. I mean no, you're totally right.
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haha! agreement with actually agreeing is like making up some counterfeit image of what you want people to think of you...good luck with anyone trying that...
thanks for commenting
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This is a tough topic - I know because I've spent years talking to university students about controversies in ethics. Not everything worth talking about is easy or comfortable.
It's difficult. Bubbles are attractive to most people. Learning to disagree respectfully is hard, not least because it involves respecting each other as people. I know it's possible though: I've been to conferences with philosophers who have dedicated their lives to supporting opposite ideas, watched them debate each other during the day, then go and have a beer together that night.
The truth is that sometimes - often - we have a lot in common with the people we disagree with.
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theres a dynamic at play too where often times peoples experiences are traumatic in nature adding an element of intense emotions to their perspective that needs to be taken into consideration when dialoguing tense topics...at the end of the day friendship has to be baseline -
thanks for commenting
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True
It takes some level of maturity and understanding to carry on a relationship without letting a disagreement define your perception of the person
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personally, not aggressively though, whatever my opinions I let them out regardless of it they hurt or not. I have to express myself. I have the right to.
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To debate is marvelous and always fruitful, however, not everyone knows how to debate. Sometimes we give in to our emotions and lose our objectivity. Every time we open our mind to see things from another perspective, we improve a lot. Even when we are right. Great topic, I really enjoyed this post.
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glad you liked it - thanks for commenting!
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Well written @breakthrough
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That's the nail hit right on the head. It could be imposed that we say nice things to avoid controversy in the public -say our workplace. And then this passivity gets rubbed off on our daily lives, and how we relate to people around us. We become too agreeable, certain our own point of view don't matter or no one would really care to know.
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This makes me think, trolls are everywhere on social media. They actually feed on disagreeing with people online. I mean, I have really close friends that troll my opinion sometimes, but it's fine, 'cause I know them and all they are doing is trying to grab my attention. So anyways, I think it is important to not get too emotional about people that disagree with your opinion on something. A good way of facing this, in my opinion, is by actually listening to what they have to say, I mean, maybe you or they can learn something interesting about the topic! Or, you can simply ignore and choose your battles wisely ;)
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While you are right that shouting with a sign makes zero dialog, but it does one thing which is sometimes necessary. A show of power, strength and unity.
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Thats so true....
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