I was watching a YouTube video last week from a channel I faithfully follow. The lady who owns the channel is a SAHM and homemaker of two young boys. I like to listen to her channel because we have some of the same values of raising a family, ideals of being a homemaker and look upon shows like "The Waltons" and "Little House On The Prairie" as models to base our own life on.
But in one video she stated how being a homemaker was exploding among the younger generations. And this got me thinking...
My youngest daughter and mom to two children, is the only person of her generation that I know of who is a stay-at-home mom or homemaker. My oldest daughter works full-time (and has one child) and my daughter-in-law, mom to three children and two step-sons, works full-time as a school teacher. Even relatives, on both my side and Mr Golden D's side of the family, all the women/moms work outside the home; even with young school-age children. Some choose to while others need to work to make the bills.
Maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong crowds; keeping in mind I have little to no friends outside my family and my husband's family, but I can remember three years ago when my graduating high school class held its 30th class reunion and we didn't attend.
I was scrolling through the announcement in a group online and seeing what some of my past classmates were saying; and there was one post where you could share your career and where you live. I read through the comments and saw many of my 360-plus ex-classmates, who I haven't seen or spoke to in the 30 years since leaving high school, and most were talking about working for the Big 3 (automotive companies), being this or that and when I came upon on girl (who I vaguely remember) stating she was a SAHMom to tow kids and never went back to work after they were grown. Some people started chiming in with some lazy people comments. They replied to her comment and asked if she ever held a real job.
It was heart breaking and disheartening for me to read the comments.
Why?
Because that could have been me (the SAHM and wife).
When my kids were younger and in school, I was a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. When they (my children) grew up and I was going through a divorce form their father, I worked three jobs at a time to make ends meet.
Two decades later, I am a homemaker.
So how does someone place a value on this career?
People have placed a value of being a stay at home mom, but what about a woman who keeps the home, makes the home and doesn't have children to tend to?
See what the Washington Post says seven years ago.
I have been on both sides of the fence; being a working mom and being a SAHM/SAHW. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. I'm not advocating for either scenario, but what I am mulling over is the way some of society views homemakers.
They MAY think...
- Housewives are lazy
- Homemakers have no education
- Housewives watch soap operas all day long (Yeah... I'm aging myself here)
- Homemakers have ALL the time in the world
- Homemakers don't contribute to the success of the home
I'm sure there are more things people on the outside looking in may think or believe, but spend the DITL (Day In The Life) with one. See how much she is doing.
Opinions are my own and ones I have personally experienced. NOT all people think this way.
What Being a Homemaker Allows Me To Do & Contribute To The Household
- I am able to garden and harvest a bounty that lets me preserve the food for our home
- I am available to make our house a home- meaning it is inviting, pleasant and a sanctuary for my husband
- I can be frugal to save money by making our own items (hence contributing to the household)
- I have been able duplicate favorite restaurant meals and recipes- saving us money
- I am on the go from 4:30 AM until 8PM EVERY day including Sunday
- I have a college degree with a major in journalism and a minor in Early Childhood Development which may not assist me in the daily tasks I have, but they are there if I ever decide to go back to a full or part-time job/career
Thinking about ALL the women I know, I am only the one aside from my youngest daughter, who is a homemaker or stay-at-home mom/wife currently.
Being able to stay home is not a luxury as so many have applied this stigma to it. Being able to stay home is a beautiful thing. It allows us to be here; to be able to build a loving environment to all who live within the walls or visit.
We are all hard-working women, or men; there are house-husbands in the world too, who cherish every moment, have a diligent work ethic and are always looking for new ways to save money and provide a happy domain with a welcoming smile.
So Is Being A Homemaker A Dying "Career"?
This post was made from https://ulogs.org
I worked until I was pregnant with my son. Since then I have been a SAHM and a homemaker. I did all the things you listed, but being frugal and tag saling was how we managed. These skills stood me in good stead when my husband became 100% disabled in 1998 and we had to live on a single disability income. I became chronically ill in 1999. We've survived all these decades mostly due to the skills I learned as a SAHM.
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Oh yes! I am such a penny-pincher and I love garage sales, yard sales, thrift stores. I think they know me by name now.
SUCH an awesome statement...
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I think I know of more women who stay at home than my mom did at my age, so I would say it is not dying. I know from talking to some of them as a parent one of the biggest expenses is childcare. For many of my friends it is cheaper to stay at home and care for their little children than send them to daycare. It is absolutely a full-time job, though! And I would say that's true even without kids. I spend a good part of my Sundays meal prepping just the basic meals, but the little bit that I dabble in making other homemade goods like sauerkraut, quick pickles or jams, and other items it really does take even more time out of the day. I can see why most women didn't used to work outside of the home before grocery stores came around--it's non-stop when you make everything from scratch. Especially when you have your own garden and everything seems to need to get harvested at once. I'm lucky in that I have a pretty flexible schedule and get time off in the middle of the day sometimes, so I feel like I get the best of both worlds. I enjoy getting out of the house and interacting with my clients and co-workers, but then I can also take on some of the other projects at home and enjoy my alone time there.
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Oh yes! More so when the kids were young (toddler age)... but even now I stay so busy during the day... I do reserve Sunday for down time. Spend time with hubby, doing some reading, nd just relaxing together.
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Toddlers are tough enough without any of the awesome homesteading tasks you do! That's great to make sure to take one solid day off a week. I sometimes forget to do that myself, but after too long without my body lets me know I need a rest. :)
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What a thoughtful and thought-provoking post and sad to read how the SAHM was treated, just goes to show hoe peoples prioties have changed and I dont think for the better
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!BEER
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I agree! The way they were commenting to her was a form of adult bullying. Sad that high school bullies hadn't changed over the years and from maturing.
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Ohh yeah Sad but true many high school bullies only grow into adult bullies and thats just as bad
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It depends on so many circumstances...especially where you live. The environment is different from village to village, town to town, from city to city, country to country...I am speaking of the general attitude. Cases of one or the other are always possible...
Nobody should regret their own choice, though. Ideally, you're going for what makes you happy.
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Amen to that!
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I want to be a homemaker too (: (when I get married next year). Thank you for being my (our) example <3
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I hope you are able to! Nothing more rewarding! well, except being a mom... and grandma!
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Wow! I'm gobsmacked that this was the attitude towards the SAHM! If my day is anything to go by them "lazy" is the furthest thing from the truth. I have to make myself take a break now and again to stop me ruining myself into the ground. If I went back to work I can guarantee that I'd get no help in the house and good healthy meals would become junk food again.
It really is a generational thing. I remember an older man talking to my husband about how it was a source of pride for him to be able to say that his wife never had to go to work.
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I love the Waltons. I think many of the ideals can be brought into our current world. I agree with everything you say about SAHM but just want to add it can be dad doing the duty as well.
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MidWeek Delights || Of SuperMamas, Caramelised Cinnamon Apple Pie, Expectations At A New Job & Stay-At-Home-Moms.
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I think it is unfair of others to think it as less ... People should be able to choose what they do :)
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I had to fight for my right to stay home.
My youngest (well, now I am pregnant so that will change again) finally goes to school for 3 hours a day.
I constantly had to show my husband, how irrational it was for me to go to work. Daycare, work clothes, extra money on eating out (cause he expected me to work full time AND still cook and clean, and care for our clothes), traveling, parking, etc. All those costs would offset any income I would bring home.
Even then, I still brought in an income somehow or other (mostly through my writing).
He insisted so much that I finally decided that I would get a job. But in order to do it, I moved out of his house and into my own apartment eight hours away. Why? Because my mom is a SAHW and my youngest was cared for by grandma and not some day care person.
Best decision of my life.
I soon realized that my "job" was collectively costing more than I was bringing in (because all the money I was making was stealing wealth from all the things my mom could now not do because she was helping me) and let it go, in exchange for more writing gigs.
Now, things are a little more tight, and I have to work a little more (freelance writing can be tough) but I get to stay home with my kids, play Uber Mom (I drive around like crazy) still cook healthy meals, and ... well, its easier to keep a home when you don't have someone constantly telling you to go to work. Plus, I was able to buy myself a small condo.
I barely make the payments but it gets easier every day.
I guess I am not really a stay at home mom, but more of a work from home mom. Still, my schedule allows me to care for my family in ways I wouldn't be able to if I was dedicating 8 hours of my life plus travel time to a place of employment.
As far as my mother who is a Stay at Home Wife, she is invaluable to the WHOLE family, she visits her father regularly and makes sure he has clean clothes, and fresh food, she take my father's parents to Dr. Appointments, she runs errands for her sisters and sisters in law who have to work, she shows up at every awards assembly, she is the reason we all get to celebrate birthdays with delicious cakes, and she grocery shops at so many places that EVERYONE around her knows where to get the well priced stuff.
Society is wrong, we need more people like my mom, who "get" to stay home, but bring so much value to the whole extended family.
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