"WHO can find a VIRTUOUS and CAPABLE WIFE? SHE IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN RUBIES."
Proverbs 31:10 (NLT)
13 A foolish child is a calamity to a father; A QUARRELSOME WIFE IS AS ANNOYING AS CONSTANT DRIPPING.
14 Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,
BUT ONLY THE LORD CAN GIVE AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE."
Proverbs 19:13,14 (NLT)
• A Word to Women
- I want to admonish you as a wife and a mother, to live right. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, If you have not taken the step (Romans 10:9,10).
- And if you had, then be serious with your Christian life and walk in the light of the Word of God; for your children to have a good thing to emulate through your life (Joshua 1:8; James 1:22,25).
- If you wanted to claim that your husband had offended you, wronged you, and that had caused or contributed to your behaviours and a number of other negative things you do at home.
- I want to admonish you to forgive your husband and change. Not only because of your husband, but for the future of your children.
- Whatever negative character you put up at home, in order to spite your husband, would be picked up by your children, either consciously or unconsciously.
- Whatever you do has a serious impact or an influence on them, whether you know it or not. It has psychological effects on them.
- You may put up some attitudes or characters to spite, hurt or upset, your husband, in retaliating on what you may claim he had done to offend you (Proverbs 9:13; 21:19; 27:15).
- The truth is, that will not hurt your husband alone, the impact of such attitudes would be much more on your children.
- In some of the attitudes, you may have not seen the effects of them now when they are still young in age, but as time passes, you will begin to see those negative characters, manifesting in their lives—both towards you and their father.
- Some of the things that you are doing today, which are being done to spite, hurt or upset, your husband, in retaliation of what you believe he did to offend you; will cause you to shed bitter tears, if you did not change before it is too late.
- Children are copycats! They learn through what you teach them, tell them to do, and through observations, what you do not tell them to do—but observed in your Life.
• A Woman
A woman shared her plight with me in one of the counselling sessions when I was pastoring. Her concern was, the first daughter does not have any regard for her father, that is, she does not honour her father as she supposed.
I told her, what she was seeing in the girl could be the fruit of the seed which she had sown a long time—when the girl was still small, or growing up.
AFTER a careful thought, she agreed with what I said. She said when the girl was still small, her father was not a good provider, as in being faithful on certain responsibilities at home. Whenever the man returns from work, he used to come home with some things for the daughter which they would eat together.
- But she herself would be fuming and angry with the man, speaking against him. Even telling their daughter as young as she was then, Would those things that your father is buying for you to eat, pay your school fees? And other offensive words of such.
- Today, that child has become a young adult, but she does not have regards for the father. She despises him!
- She, the mother, may have forgotten all she did then, but the seed had been sown in the daughter.
- The man now has become a changed person, but the negative thing she, the mother, did, is having a negative impact and effect on their daughter.
• Admonishments
- Whatever wrong thing your husband may have done against you, forgive him; because of the future of your children.
- Choose to live in line with the Word of God. If truly the man had offended you, let God handle that. God is the God of justice, and He is not partial (Deuteronomy 10:17; Romans 2:11; Colossians 3:25).
- Most of the things that many women holding as offences, which they claimed their husbands did against them, are things they supposed to have overlooked and forgotten.
- Even some of such things may be things their husbands have forgotten about—that did happen at all.
- My mother would tell me and my siblings what my father did against her, even when the man is no more alive. Telling us what he did wrong when we were small and he is late now, what would we do about it? Since the man is late!
• Women do allow pettiness and Unforgiviness.
- The reason why God has not been able to defend some women and help them about the injustice which they claimed their husbands did against them is, they find it difficult to forgive their husbands and forget about the past. They are retaliatory and vengeful!
- They wanted to avenge for themselves! BUT God SAYS: "Beloved, DO NOT AVENGE YOURSELVES, BUT RATHER GIVE PLACE TO WRATH [of God]; for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," SAYS the LORD" (Romans 12:19 NKJV).
- Let God avenge for you! If truly the man, your husband, has done you bad, and does not repent; you forgive as the Scripture says, and let God who is not partial repay him.
- Give the matter to God. Stop overreacting on issues that happened between you and your husband.
- If you knew and did believe that God is a just God and He is not partial, then give the matter to God:
"BUT HE WHO DOES WRONG WILL BE REPAID FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE, AND THERE IS NO PARTIALITY [with God]" (Colossians 3:25 NKJV).
READ: Deuteronomy 10:17; Romans 2:6,11. - Any negative character or attitude that you put up at home, to spite, annoy or upset your husband (Proverbs 21:9,19); IN order to show or express your grievances, would bear fruits that you would not like to reap or harvest in the lives of your children.
"A QUARRELING [contentious] WIFE is as BOTHERSOME as a continual dripping on a rainy day."
Proverbs 27:15 (Expanded Bible)
"IT is better to LIVE alone in the DESERT [in a desolate land] than with a QUARRELING [contentious] and COMPLAINING [angry] WIFE."
Proverbs 21:19 (Expanded Bible)
• However:
"A WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOUSE, BUT THE FOOLISH PULLS IT DOWN WITH HER HANDS."
Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV)
• It is my prayer that you will not fail in your marriage, and not regret later in Life, in Jesus' name.
Peace!