An Unknown amount of miles awaits.
Today marks the 9th day since the dreadful auto accident involving my son. Though it has been only nine days, it feels as though this is all I've ever done. Trudge the miles of corridors at the hospital, eat the infamous hospital cafeteria food, and sit for hours on end staring at the lifeless body that until this happened, was so full of vigorous activity. How many more miles will there be? It doesn't matter in the end. I would walk to the moon and back a thousand times. I will walk these halls until there is no more need.
The road itself is full of wide curves and hairpin turns. It seems there is seldom a straight, smooth stretch, though I know those must be coming. There are potholes aplenty and soft shoulders to be wary of. Sometimes the road passes with dizzying speed and other times it crawls by painfully slow. I am not the driver. I am not in control.
The Road Map Of Uncertainty
The first few days spent bedside, went by without the realization of time passing. Doctors and nurses came and went,speaking all the while in soft, efficient tones. Occasionally I would be hustled out of the room, and during those times I would use the restroom and grab a cup of coffee if I remembered to do so.
When he was admitted to the trauma unit, he had less than 20% chance of survival. During an emergency surgery to determine the cause of internal bleeding, it was discovered that he had a torn colon. A colon resection was in order. They chose not to reconnect the colon nor close the incision, to see if the bleeding had been resolved. At that point, his chances were raised to 30% survival. The following Sunday, the 27th, he was again taken to surgery and the colon was reconnected. His chances went to 80%. That's where we sit today.
An Unknown Destination
From where we were at the beginning, to where we are today, has been a journey of uncertainty and anguish. A journey of untold miles. A journey of perils and fear the likes of which I have never before experienced. Most of the critical organs are functioning or are expected to function properly very soon. The dialysis port has been removed as there is no further need for it. Two of three chest tubes have been removed with the third possibly taken out this afternoon. A feeding tube will be inserted thru the nose this afternoon. He has been without nourishment for 9 days now and they want to see how his stomach will tolerate it.
A tracheostomy is scheduled for today. This will allow the ventilator tubes to be taken out of the mouth and connected through the neck. He will then be allowed to try breathing on his own with assist from the ventilator. If that goes well, they will back off the sedation enough to bring him around. It is then we will be able to get an idea of the extent of injury to the brain.
Forks In The Road
We faced the first fork early on. The fork that determined if he would live or if he would perish. The next major fork we come to will be the one that leads either to a functional but lengthy recovery or the one that leads to permanently brain damaged condition. I do not dwell on what could be, might be, or should be. I only focus on what is. Regardless of which fork in the road Rodney takes, I will be right there with him, for as many miles as it takes.
If you would like to read my initial post about Rodney including a poem I wrote for him, you can follow this link
https://steemit.com/poetry/@tamaralovelace/prayers-please-and-a-poem-for-my-son
For those of you who have offered your prayers, well wishes, spiritual healings, reiki and all manner of good vibrations, I am eternally grateful. You are well loved by me and I return your generosity in kind.
For those instrumental in getting my message out there...well, I just cannot thank you enough...please accept my heartfelt gratitude and love.
Dear Tamaralovelace, please take each day with healing breaths, positive thoughts and energy and a knowing spirit that you are not alone. Each day our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your son. As each day goes by, it is another win for Rodney. And you must remain strong and healthy so that you will have the ability and strength to give to your son. So you need to rest when you can and eat and breath and stay healthy.
I think writing is such a wonderful way to deal with all this stress and a venue to let it all out. It is also what you can share with Rodney when he becomes healthier and stronger. The love for you son shows in all your writings so I know he would really appreciate that. I may even be a way for him to fight back to where he once was before the accident. So I highly recommend that you use Steemit to write your thoughts and feelings to keep you sane and grounded. I know writing has really helped me.
Didn't mean for this to get so long. I really want you to know that we can feel your pain and stress and if we could, we would wrap you up in a huge and warming embrace to comfort you. Be strong, be determined to hope and reach better days and most of all love yourself and Rodney because love does heal more than you know! Please take care........ Cabbagepatch!!!
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Oh my goodness yes...one day at a time is all I can manage. I have felt the presence of so many people with me, bolstering me and yes, keeping me sane! I have reread and can recall so many of the responses to Rodney's story, and I use these to keep me grounded when doubt or panic starts to creep in. You're right...each day is a win!!
A few others have mentioned writing as a way to heal, too. It is a very healthy outlet, just as you said. I too, think it will be good to use as a way to document for Rodney on down the line
I thank you for being there, for your gentleness and kindness. I thank you for your understanding and your encouragements. Mostly I thank you for just being you. I am so thankful for you :)
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Tamaralovelace I know you would have done the same if I were in your shoes. I am so glad that you will do more writing. It is such a therapeutic means to express yourself while keeping your mind engaged. I also feel you do need to document what you have been going through. It really helped me when I wrote about my dog Lady and ever since then the gates of motivation and direction have opened up for me. I never thought I would like writing but I really am and find it so good and healthy.
I know the worst thing is to sit and wait and then sit and wait some more. Your mind is a very powerful force so you need to give it direction that it needs and wants. Despite my age, I have found that keeping my mind engaged has made me so much more focused and happy. I guess each post I write is an exercise in brain activity for health and longevity.
Still wishing you and Rodney all the best. And yes, my heart is happy to feel a new breath of fresh air for you. Keep moving forward with hope and perseverance. Believe...... and it will happen! .....Cabbagepatch! :D
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Sending Healing Energies🙏🏽
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Thank you so very much @bodygems. It's working, so I thank you for these healing energies! Each day brings improvements, even if they are small :)
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@tamaralovelace I'm sending you and your son love and positive healing energy. Blessings and support to you.
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Thank you so very much @healingherb! I am very grateful for your offer <3 and welcome all who wish to heal :)
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Blessings to you. It's sounding better every day so let's hope that trend continues. I'm pleased to read that you will be listening to everyone who has advised you to write and I look forward to sharing the public part of your journey - but only when you have the time and energy. Your strength and love for your son is amazing and inspiring.
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He's going to make it and after some time of recovery he will rock on again.
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I have faith, too @geckothailand! I appreciate your positive outlook <3 <3 Thank you so much :)
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I will resteem this because it is important to spread the word about Rodney! :D
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Thank you @cabbagepatch!
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How is Rodney doing now Tamara? I'm still sending healing to him so I do hope there is more positive recovery. Loads of love to you all
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Hi Michelle! I think he's coming around a bit! His eyes opened today, both of them. Same amount of eye showing and the eyeballs were focused forward. I still don't think he saw anything, but would open and close them on command. Before the eyeballs were rolled back in the head. It is awe inspiring to see him come slowly to life again. I am humbled beyond belief. I am truly grateful to you and to others working on his behalf. You have my gratitude and so much respect!!
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Hi Tamara, wow that is great news! I'm so so pleased.
I'm still sending healing energies to Rodney and asking for complete healing for him. I know the Angels are with him and working on this too. Getting goose bumps!
You are so welcome, the world needs your Light and Rodney's too. Keep flowing Pure Love & Light to him, yourself and the world. Lots of love Michelle
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i feel your pain but try an d remain strong for your son, no matter what
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Thank you @hamzeto. That is key, to not let him see, feel or hear my fear or weakness. I try to keep all negative thioughts out of the hospital room.
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thats the way, have plenty of hope
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<3 <3 Thank you, my hope flies high thanks to great people like you. I am so grateful <3 <3
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I am moved by this post and you ability to talk so openly and coherently at this difficult stage. I too do reiki so will send some energy your way. I hope you son improves quickly and without too many ill effects. Think of you all my friend :)
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Oh please, please do send your energy here!! I am so grateful to you for your effort! It is tough to talk about but as some say, it does help to ease the frustration and keep things in perspective. I thank you again for sending your energies on our behalf <3
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Your welcome and I hope he improves soon, :)
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Thanks to well wishers such as yourself, I know he will improve. I cannot thank you enough for your energies...thank you <3 <3
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Your welcome energies are there to share :)
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Godbless you bro. :-)
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Thank you very much @athenabree08! I appreciate that :)
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You're very welcome. Stay strong for your son. Don't lose hope. :-)
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@tamaralovelace52 we will be praying for your son's Recovery on God Waves an hour from now. Mspwaves.vom/listen
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I am so sorry I will have to miss it. I really wanted to listen, but I'm in the hospital waiting on the trauma surgeon. If you get this mssg will you please tell all thank you from my very soul?? I am humbled beyond measure for the prayer!!!
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Thanks for dropping by tama! Great to have had you!!
Perhaps you can come on next Sunday. As long as you have access to Skype, we can get you on the air.
Have a blessed week.
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I want to thank you again, @globocop for your prayers on my son's behalf. It was a great comfort to hear his name. I will check today into the skype on my phone.
I wish you a blessed week, as well.
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You are never alone, in the Body of Christ, Tam!
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Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by tamaralovelace from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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@tamaralovelace got you a $1.22 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice! (Image: pixabay.com)
Want a boost? Click here to read more!
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Your writing is so heartfelt, you should keep writing, it is very therapeutic and healing.
Well I have to say to go from 20% chance of surviving to 80% is pretty miraculous, so all the healing is working and I feel sure that Rodney will keep improving each day.
I'll do work on his brain, being able to take in the food and all the issues you have mentioned.
Rodney has important Light work to do, so the Angels are with him! Feel the goose bumps and Truth. Sending more love, Light and healing <3 <3
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Infused with Pure Love & Light for you both.
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I love love love this <3
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The image?
Yes you can feel the energy in it!
I love infusing images so people can feel the energy! <3
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Thank you @michellecarter for the kind words. People have been telling me that writing is therapeutic and helps to get the feelings out. I will keep writing as I can, as it really does help.
Thank you for the specific workings! I tell you, he is getting brighter day by day. I know the modern medicine works it's own brand of miracles, but truly, Rodney is being lifted up by so much more than machines, and it is goose bump worthy :)
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Wonderful news @tamaralovelace!
His eyes have a shine to them again, so showing that he is getting brighter each day. May this keep continuing to full recovery. The goose bumps are always so encouraging to feel.
Great you're finding comfort in the writing, and such heartfelt writing should be shared as it opens up other people's hearts when they read.
Much love <3
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I never thought of the goose bumps in that way before, but have since I started to read about the healing energy. I am going to research more into this topic as time allows. I find it absolutely fascinating.
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Goose bumps are one of the ways that the universe / Angels talk to us, saying something is great, right. Also it can be souls talking to souls, so when you hear a song or singer that is so moving you get goose bumps, it's like your is recognising the talent in their soul. It's also confirmation, so when you ask a question or think or say something then having goose bumps is saying 'yes that's right'.
All really amazing! 'Feelings are language of our souls!'
I scrolled down on your page to your introduction post and it was lovely to see your photo. You have the same Light in your eyes as Rodney. You will be able to see and feel Truth the same as him, you just need some opening up.
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I am ready to open up and learn these things. I have always felt that life is in the soul, not the body. Also that religion is in the soul, not in a manmade house. I've been a goose bumper all my life but never really thought of them as language. But now that you mention it I can really see that. I will be more aware of the next time I get them!
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Wonderful! Yes our soul talks to us through feelings, so we do need to tune in and feel them.
I have a Free Tuning into Your Soul course available through my website that I'm sure would help you to open and start to experience these feelings more.
How is Rodney doing today? Sending more Pure love and healing.
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Hi Tamara, do you have any more news on Rodney?
Sending more Love, Light and healing, I do hope all is going well.
Blessings Michelle
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Hi Michelle!
Thank you SO much for the continued Love, Light and Healing!!! I tell you, it's working :) Things are coming along more rapidly now, though I know there will be times of rest or even backsliding. I have just posted an update on Rodney that lists his progress. I don't like to drop links but in this case I will. I am absolutely convin ced that the Love, Light and Healing along with the prayer, reiki and just plain positive energy are having a profound effect. Even the doctors are pleasantly surprised :)
Blessings to you as well, my friend and teacher!
Tammy
https://steemit.com/healing/@tamaralovelace/the-calm-after-the-storm
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Hi Tammy, so wonderful to read your latest post - wow sitting up and doing exercises! :)
I'm so so pleased for you both.
It will be so much easier when he is talking for you both so may he soon be able to speak and may his body and movement heal really quickly.
It's so great when healing surprises the doctors - love it! <3
I'll keep flowing the healing, sending lots of Love, Light and blessings
Michelle
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