If you cause conflicts and contradictions with others, you must find out if it is a misunderstanding. If it is a misunderstanding by others, you must face it calmly. if the misunderstanding is caused by yourself, you must take the initiative to reconcile with others. If you are misunderstood, don't be too wronged. It is others, not yourself, who is wrong. Believe that things will eventually come to light. It's better to smile tolerantly to deal with others' misunderstandings of yourself in a verbal manner.
Napoleon Hill humorously recounted his personal experience in tolerance. It goes like this: One day, Napoleon had a misunderstanding with the administrator of the office building. This misunderstanding caused the two of them to hate each other, and even turned into a fierce hostility.
In order to show his dissatisfaction with Napoleon, the administrator immediately turned off all the lights in the building when he knew that Napoleon was the only one working in the office in the entire building.
This situation happened several times in a row, and finally, Napoleon decided to "counterattack." One Sunday, when the opportunity came, Napoleon went to the study to prepare a speech to be delivered the next evening. Napoleon had just sat down at the desk and the light went out.
Napoleon immediately jumped up and ran to the basement of the building. Napoleon knew where to find the administrator. When Napoleon arrived there, he found that the manager was very busy. The manager shoveled coal into the boiler while blowing his whistle as if nothing had happened. Napoleon immediately yelled at the administrator, using words that were hotter than the fire in the boiler for 5 minutes. In the end, Napoleon couldn't think of any curse words, so he slowed down.
And the self-made soft tone said: "Ah, you were a little excited this morning, didn't you?" The administrator's words were like a sharp dagger, and it pierced into Napoleon's body all at once. Think about how Napoleon would feel back then. Standing in front of Napoleon was an illiterate. The administrator could neither write nor read. However, despite these weaknesses, the administrator defeated him in this battle, not to mention the occasions and weapons of the battle. Napoleon chose himself.
Napoleon thought to himself: My conscience aimed at me with condemning fingers. I know that not only was I defeated, but to make matters worse, I was active and the wrong side. All this would only increase my humiliation. My conscience is not only accusing me, but also placing some embarrassing thoughts in my mind. It laughs at me. I stood there in a daze.
I boast of being a scholar of advanced psychology, the founder of the "Golden Rule" philosophy, proficient in the works of Shakespeare, Socrates, Plato, Emerson, etc., as well as the Bible. and the person opposite me is very literary He didn't know anything about philosophy, and although he lacked this knowledge, he beat me miserably in this spoken language.
Napoleon turned around and returned to the office as quickly as possible. He has nothing else to do. When he reflected on this matter again, he immediately saw his mistake. But, frankly speaking, Napoleon was very reluctant to take action to resolve his mistakes. Napoleon knew that he had to apologize to that person in order to calm down.
Finally, Napoleon made up his mind and decided to go to the basement and endure the humiliation that must be endured. This determination is not easy to make, and it took Napoleon a long time to reach a decision. Napoleon began to walk to the basement, but this time he walked much slower than last time. Napoleon kept thinking about how to carry out this second action in order to minimize the humiliation.
When Napoleon came to the basement, he called the caretaker to the door. The administrator asked in a calm, gentle tone: "What do you want to do this time?" Napoleon told him: "I am back to apologize for my behavior, if you are willing to accept it."
That kind of smile appeared on the administrator’s face again. He said, “With God’s love, you don’t need to apologize to me. Apart from these four walls, as well as you and me, no one heard what you just said. . I won’t say it, so we might as well just forget about it.”
This passage humiliated Napoleon more than what he said for the first time, because the administrator not only expressed his willingness to forgive Napoleon, but actually expressed his willingness to help him conceal the matter and prevent it from being publicized in order to cause him hurt. Napoleon walked over to the administrator, grabbed his hand, and shook his hand.
Napoleon not only shook hands with the man with his hands, but also shook hands with him with his own heart. On the way back to the office, Napoleon felt very happy, because he finally mustered up the courage to resolve what he had done wrong, and this kind of life was just right.
Temporary tolerance and concession is often to dilute the enemy's hostility, and finally continue to become stronger, and then in turn make the opponent bend a useful strategy, this is the wisdom of tolerance. There are many such cases in social interactions.
Endure all kinds of shocks and wait for the outcome of the matter to prove that you are not wrong. If you can't help but give up as soon as others object, it means you don't have confidence in yourself. Learn from the strong with an open mind and be willing to be a primary school student, so that the opponent will not see you as a strong opponent. Take advantage of the other party to reduce your own risks.