boring

People keep asking you to hang out and you keep saying no.
Cut the bullshit – we both know you’ve turned down several invitations to hang out over the past month because it seemed too hard or too far or it was too cold outside and you weren’t feeling social. If you want your life to be more exciting, you’re going to have to invite other people into it. A lot of the best stuff happens once we get past that feeling of “Noooooo I don’t want to go outside and talk to people, aughhhhhh.”

“But then I’d have to put on real pants” is a legitimate excuse that you use to not do things.
Your life doesn’t happen until you concede to wearing pants approximately 90% more often than you would like to. I don’t know how to break that to you any more gently.

You haven’t had sex in forever.
Of course your mind is bored. Because YOUR BODY IS BORED. Your hormones are bored. Your entire reproductive system – which is the primary motivation for so many of our actions – has been left out to dry. Dude. You need to go get some. Your brain is going to thank you for it.

You’ve let yourself go.
Physically, emotionally or mentally (maybe all three). You stopped doing the things that make you feel like yourself so now you’re stuck feeling like someone else and it’s wearing on you. You haven’t been invigorated in a long time, which is shitting on your creativity – but it’s nobody’s fault except your own.

You keep wussing out of instigating plans.
You know what the difference is between you and a person who has plans for this Saturday night? The latter picked up the telephone and called (Okay texted) someone else and asked them to hang out. You didn’t do that because you were too scared of rejection and now you’re bored. Surprise, surprise.

You haven’t travelled anywhere in forever because you use all your disposable income to buy take-out.
All your friends are posting photos of themselves in India and you’re passive-aggressively hating on them from a coffee shop because they have the money to travel and you don’t. Because you didn’t budget yours for travel. Even though you could.

You consider yourself above all the activities that you could be out doing.
You’re so over the bar scene, the dating scene and the travel scene. You’ve reached the top tier of maturity, which is the one where you sit in your room and feel bored about everything for the rest of your life. Congratulations.

You won’t do anything alone.
You don’t know anybody at the party so you don’t go. You cannot source a travel partner so you don’t purchase the ticket. You’re so afraid of looking like you’re doing something alone that you don’t even consider the alternative. You stay trapped in your shell because it’s easy. And then you wonder why you’re lacking connection.

You’ve become boring.
Sorry to give you the most cliché answer available but it’s probably true. When was the last time you tried something new? Joined a club, took up a hobby, asked someone out on a date or learned a new language? You are bored because you keep saying “Nah” to the things you should be saying, “Fuck yes!” to and now you have nothing to talk about when you go on first dates so nobody ever calls you back. Surprise, surprise.

You’ve been on the Internet for so long that you’ve forgotten there’s an actual world out there.
Here’s a question: How many Netflix shows have you watched this week compared to how many places you’ve gone? How many times have you checked your Facebook compared to how many times you’ve checked up on your friends IRL to make sure they’re doing okay? We’re all guilty of it. But life doesn’t happen from behind the glare of your phone screen. Go outside, man. Your life might get a lot less boring.
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