I've been a professional fortuneteller for at least 15 years now. When I started I, for some reason, cursed myself with a lot of "shoulds" that continually got in my way and inhibited my development. In those early days I would have been a lot more fortunate in my business (and my personal life) had I not blocked my own luck with all of those 'shoulds'
right from the beginning. Back then I really didn't have anyone to help me figure these things out. I was on my own with a lot of trial and error... and wow...some of those errors!!!!
Now, I don't regret any of that because it gave me some experience that I can share with others. Maybe it will help them avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered. I've started this blog to help novices and professionals alike avoid those shoulds and maybe gain some insight into the human mind. Because, after all of the thousands of readings I've done over the years, that is what I now believe fortunetelling to be all about: the human mind. And the fact that you're here now reading this means that you're interested in the human mind too and, hopefully, something I say here will help you at this point in your life.
And so, that in mind, here are five shoulds that will stop you from ever getting everywhere as a professional fortuneteller:
- I should be like the mediums on TV or on the bestseller list.
Have you ever worked in television? Or in publishing? Do you know what the main goal of both of these industries is? Sales. By any means.
Which means:
A) You have no idea whether or not the individual pictured on the back of that supposed bestseller actually wrote that book or not, or if any of what they say in it is even true. (As someone who has ghost written for uncommunicative corporate CEO's I will assure you, they probably didn't write it and, at the very least, it is highly embellished.)
B) There is no way of telling how accurate any of these individuals really are in their readings.
As it is, the media companies are less concerned with demonstrating actual psychic ability than they are in selling books, hamburger helper or tampons. It has little to do with anyone's spiritual enlightenment and much more to do with engineering the kind of spectacle that will prevent folks from changing the channel during the sponsored spot for adult diapers. So, before you go modeling yourself after the latest famous medium or spiritualist, ask yourself, Do you want to be professional fortuneteller because it will give you the opportunity to do what you love? Or do you want to be a celebrity who daily customizes his or her message to more effectively sell air fresheners?
What you answer here will determine, right away, whether you are headed down a road that leads you to deeper understanding of the human mind and its true motivations, or one characterized by press-on nails, prescription drug addictions and guest spots on QVC.
As it happens, your readings are probably more accurate than that individual on the television anyway, so don't waste any time torturing yourself for not being where they are.
- I should be perfect from the minute I start.
Rarely is anyone perfect at anything when they start. For one thing, being a fortune teller isn't just about being able to read cards or palms or tea leaves. It's also about learning how to talk to people; how to put them at ease and assist them; and, in some cases, help them develop strategies to deal with whatever it is you're seeing in their past, present or futures.
Also, it takes time and practice to develop a style that both encourages people to open up while putting them at ease. So, give yourself a break and allow yourself to develop your own style and abilities in their own time without the added pressure of perfectionism thrown on top of it.
It's also my experience that people use perfectionism an excuse to avoid taking action: either because they are afraid of success, they secretly want to fail or they aren't being authentic to themselves.
- I should be omniscient.
This is just wrong. Who needs this kind of pressure in their lives? You might as well just tell yourself you need to be able to lift skyscrapers while you're at it. But unfortunately it's a common should. Thanks to movies and television there is huge misconception that psychic means all-knowing, all the time, in every situation and under every circumstance. Before you decide you want to adopt this psychotic little should, ask yourself, How fun would life be if you could never be surprised, if you could read everyone's thoughts and emotions constantly without being able to shut it off? No one wants to go to a tortured psychic. And those who do are not clients you really want to have: they are more trouble than the fifty cents they are willing to give you to tell them in excruciating detail every aspect about the dysfunction that they are already quite cozy with.
'Psychic' is a nominalization. In hypnosis and neuro linguistic programming that term refers to to a word that carries different meanings for different people; but it's the individual hearing the word who actually supplies that meaning for themselves. Unfortunately, many define the word psychic in an extreme way.
Omniscience is a quality traditionally applied only to Buddhas. (For more on that google the term, 'eye of the Buddha'.) But Buddhas tend to avoid things like fortunetelling because they see a much bigger picture of the world and our place in it, and they can look directly into the heart of a person and see exactly what he or she needs. It was, however, traditional in places like Tibet for a student of a Buddha to do divination for people as a means of helping to bring resources into a Lhakhang.
So, when people ask you why you explore fortunetelling with people and if you are "all seeing", you can simply smile at them and say: "I am merely a student of the human mind who uses what tools I have to help people unravel the puzzles of their life the best I can. Here, pull a card and let's see if I can't assist you in some way..."
- People will always be honest with me when I read them so when a reading doesn't line up I should blame myself for not being really "psychic".
This just isn't true. People will lie to you all the time. For all kinds of reasons. They will lie about their lives and experiences to test you and see if you're "really" psychic. They'll lie to you about what happened in a situation because they're embarrassed by what happened. They'll lie because they don't want you to know whatever it is that they are hiding in their lives. (They are all hiding something.) They will lie to you because they are lying to themselves and really don't know they are lying. They'll even lie when you've done a reading for them and hit the nail on the head just because they don't want to believe that anyone can see into their lives so easily.
But it has been my experience that nine times out of ten in a situation like this someone--a friend or lover or someone who heard you do the reading will come to you and say: "You were absolutely spot on!"
And even if that doesn't happen, don't sweat it. There comes a point when you know whether or not you can really do this--that is, if you're honest with yourself. And when that time comes you'll know the people who are lying to you. I promise. Until then, keep practicing your craft and don't torture yourself about it.
- I should be God's mouthpiece.
OK this one is not only arrogant and self-centered, but it's also a bit creepy and leads to delusions and mental disability. No joke. This is how all of the self-aggrandizing televangelists and politicians who end up in huge public scandals started. People who walk up to strangers on the street and tell them that their dead grandpa is choking them don't make people feel warm and fuzzy. They creep folks out. Remember two things in this case:
People will never remember what you said, only how you make them feel.
It's no one's holy appointed job to walk around telling everyone everything about their business because...God. That's how the inquisition started. And to quote Samantha from Sex and the City: "Oh, honey, you can't listen to every fucking little voice that runs through your head. It'll drive you nuts."
If this fortunetelling or divining thing is something you're interested then here is the best advice I can give you from experience: just do it. If you fret about it or worry about it you'll just lose interest in it. If you spend your time collecting oracles hoping to find the one that gives you 'all-knowing power' or spend your time telling people how it's your calling from god you'll never live up to your own expectations. If you put obstacles in your way by comparing yourself to how someone else reads you'll miss the power and subtlety that comes from developing your own style and experience.
Get yourself an inexpensive deck of cards or a set of runes or whatever it is that expresses your personality and then just practice. Read with it for anyone who will let you. Ask the oracle questions and see how it responds. Do daily throws at the end of the day so you can see what symbols correspond to the events that you experienced through your day.
And most of all, have fun and make people laugh. Help them feel special, because they are. Listen to them and what they have to say because they need to be heard. Enjoy what you do, cultivate passion and share what you have with others and you will never be without clients.
I wish you success and good fortune.