Why do people love foreigners more? (reply from an Italian)

in psychology •  6 years ago 

First of all, I would say that the Italian population has no bad somatic traits and Italians are among the most pleasant people and this is due from the fact that we have a long history of domination from different countries.

It is true, we all have this Bias so people who do not speak our language have a certain charm.
It's pure mystery.
They seem more intelligent and interesting just as it seems more interesting any person who is different compared to what we are used to.

However, this phenomenon is completely superficial, it exists, but it doesn't last long. And it usually passes after some time when you get used to international environments (when I worked in large global companies I quickly noticed that the fascination for foreign colleagues lasted for the first months).

I should admit, that since 2010 I haven't had an Italian partner.
Not even a kiss or a date together. It's okay that I've lived abroad for years, but even when I lived in Italy my most intimate female acquaintances were with foreign girls. Why?

Let's make a little bit of introspection...

Past experiences:

most negative

Expressiveness:

I find the way many people in my country of origin express themselves annoying and I don't just talk about dialects and accents but also about common ideas and formulations. By deeply ignoring the culture and ways of the foreign person, I am not able to grasp these subtleties so I can go further without any particular effort

Age:

Since I was 20, I've been dating girls in their 20s. In Italy, a man in his forties with a much younger girl is seen very badly. The same girls dodge you as if you had cholera. With the foreign girls that I attend not only do I not experience this form of racism but what in my home country is a reason for blame, for many foreign girls, is a reason for appreciation. Considering, moreover, that I have no children, it is normal that I am more attracted to people who are of an age for which they can take the time to meet each other instead of following (or worse, ignoring) the ticking of the biological clock;

Culture and experience:

I only hang out with girls who have a certain preparation. At forty-two, I don't feel like being a Pygmalion anymore. In the country where I live, 91% of the inhabitants have a university degree. The majority of girls have been working since the age of 16 or 17. Many twenty-year-olds are mothers, just like mine was when she gave birth to me and as biologically ordered. I can talk to people who have the knowledge, skills, and experience to counteract and often teach me something. Obviously, there are women who have graduated in Italy (but much less: 18%) and are intelligent (one of the highest average IQs in the world, true... but Italy is always the leading country in the world for functional illiteracy) but generally they mature the necessary experiences much later in the years and when this happens...

Physical appearance:

...maybe I'm the only one who thinks so and I apologize enormously if I had to hurt the sensitivity of someone, but the foreign women I've met have on average a more well-kept aspect than the Italian ones. And I'm not referring to the branded handbag or the well-dressed, but to the bearing, the expression, the daily care of the person, the enhancement of femininity ... and I'm very sorry! I suffer from this... until a few decades ago Italian women were considered among the most attractive and desirable in the world... what happened?

What do you think about that?

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On this point of view, we Italians abroad are seen as 'elegant people'. But all this is true that is fading over the years, I think it's the fault of the advertising cited by the country itself and its population, the difference and that in Italy is believed not to have to improve all this leaving out these aspects that for me personally are important . The mentality guys. In Italy we are much more closed
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Very interesting article! I agree with your point of view