Are You Reserved or Outgoing? Different Atmospheres, Different Behaviours - by chrisadventures

Imagine when you go out with your friends and someone just walks up to your group and stands at your table and starts having a conversation with your group? I believe at home in the Netherlands it's a bit weird to do so. We would wonder what this person would be up to. But actually I believe this to be a strange thing because one of the main reasons people are going out is to have fun, meet others and socialize, right? Why are some of us reserved in certain situations and outgoing in others? 

Outgoing people

I want to discuss this subject a bit more as I believe it's of interest to any of us to become aware of our behaviour during certain situations. I live in Valencia, Spain for a week now and I'll be staying another five months. I've met so many people these days and find it peculiar how the atmosphere here differs from the one I'm used to back home in the Netherlands. It reminds me of my backpacker time in Asia. Everyone is outgoing, introduce themselves to others and behave like they already know each other for years. 

Isn't that the way it should always be like?

Photo: Full Moon Party in Thailand - a hotspot for backpackers and party people

I mainly think that everyone seems to be more relaxed here. Most of us like to meet new people and especially during a student exchange or in a backpackers hostel people do. I believe people are nice, outgoing and open to meet people because that's the way it's expected in such atmospheres. In this student exchange situations, I know that people like to meet other new people. Knowing this, personally gave me a relaxed feeling and confidence to simply talk to anyone. This made me meet beautiful people from all around the world.

Reserved people

I believe that back home in the Netherlands people are way more reserved than the people I meet on the road. You might have experienced this moment that you approach someone in a bar (or anywhere else) but they just wouldn't want to talk to you. I believe it's quite rude and I can't understand why someone would be like that. I had it before and it's actually quite awkward to be rejected that way. But what would be the reason for people to do so? They seem arrogant in a way, but what might be the actual reason to be so?

It might be that people are insecure or have other issues. They seem to be arrogant but I'm pretty sure that negative behaviour can often be explained by other underlying reasons. What do you think about this?

Different atmospheres, different behaviour?

Strange as it is, attitudes and behaviour are dependent on the atmosphere. During holidays, festivals and for example my student exchange here, people seem to be way more open and outgoing. It's weird because it's the same people behaving way different in their own countries in other settings.

There's many situations where people are more reserved and you know they are and it's considered to be normal. This automatically makes you more reserved as it's considered as normal to be like that.

I think it's an ongoing circle that if it's normal and expected to behave social and outgoing (which actually is expected in for example backpacker hostels) people feel more relaxed and will connect. So you know people want to connect, it's expected and normal, so people will do so.

Photo: backpackers hostel where I stayed last december (on the Gili Islands, Indonesia)

But isn't it strange that there's a difference after all? I believe the world could be a better place if we try to bring that student exchange or backpackers mentality everywhere and breach that ongoing circle of being reserved human beings.

#psychology #life #travel #inspirational #writing