"History doesn't repeat itself but it often rhymes"

Have you ever spent time reflecting about your own history? Have you ever had a memory of a long forgotten past slowly rising in your mind's eye? Have you ever felt shame, pain or disappointment at a gut level in those instance? Have you tried to quickly think about something else to get rid of that displeasing sensation?

I sure have, especially yesterday...

How Our History Rhyme Quite a Bit...

I'm soon going to turn 31...with 3 decades behind me, I never once thought about my past in a conscious manner. I simply focused on the present and the future. I'm sure you can relate. So recently, I got into the self-authoring program (you can learn more about it here) and I was asked to divide my life into 7 epochs and then recall some of the most emotionally charged memories that would come to mind.

For that, I was sitting on my couch and got myself in a state of reverie. I started recalling 2 memories that were positive and neutral. As I was recalling them, I realize how those events and the lessons I took from them at a young age **deeply influenced ** my behavior for my whole life!

How to Deal With Painful Memories

Now, when it came to the third memory, I got a pit in my stomach...my temperature went up and just felt an overwhelming sensation of embarrassment. You know that kind of memory you just wish wasn't there?

So I started writing about it even though it was uncomfortable. But then I decided to do some research in order to make sure that I was dealing with it appropriately. What I found was that only recalling the event itself and the memory associated with it could actually amplify the problem. The correct way to go about it is to write about the context and all the events surrounding the said memory.

What happens when one is actively engaging his brain this way by writing, it helps bring memories that are seated in the emotional part of the brain(the lymbic system) over to the part of the brain that deals with "understanding".

So I kept on writing until I flushed out everything I could on that event. Once that was done, i wouldn't say that I felt better immediately. But now that I think back on it, a day later, I no longer feel emotional about it. I don't feel like I am carrying that memory around as an emotional burden on an unconscious level.

"An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living" - Plato

The past, if left unchecked or un-examined, can run/ruin our lives. We can be re-enacting behaviors that were learned a long time ago that does not serve us anymore.

We can decide at anytime to create a new future and like the phoenix be reborn from our ashes. But in order to do that, we must first know WHAT has to go to the grave.

Conclusion

I invite anyone who feel like they need to examine their life to join me on this journey. Most people don't have the time or the money to pay to talk to a psychologist (I sure don't) but writing in an autobiographical way has been so far one of the most insightful and beneficial thing I have done for understanding where I come from, where I am and where I am going.

Peace be with you