In his well-known book "The Four Agreements," shaman Don Miguel Ruiz lists "Don't Take Anything Personally" as one of the roots to finding personal happiness & peace in life.
The basic idea being that when other say something to you — about you — it tends to be far more a reflection of their truth than your reality. Hence, getting your hackles up has pretty limited usefulness.
But practicing this is easier said than done.
Red clover in the sun
And it's definitely a practice. Even after some 20 years of trying to remain mindful of this particular idea , I still have to remain very conscious of how I am reacting in different situations.
(This was supposed to be a @zappl "short post," but I couldn't get Zappl to post anything, even after four tries so coming over here to post instead)
How about YOU? How good are YOU at not taking things personally? Does it usually seem true that when someone has "something to say," it's more a reflection of their state of mind than your reality? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180302 00:34 PST
I agree this is difficult and I struggle with it also.
Lately I have just noticed that all of the forces that oppose me or say bad things about me, and there are not many even on steemit, do so in ways that are sideways, backhanded, or in other ways indirect.
Very very few who oppose my ideas has the guts or capability to do so directly. This helps me not take them personally.
I realize that I am operating against some very powerful forces that use a lot of deception, and that most people in the world I encounter are truly people in a matrix of lies, fish in water who don't know they are in water.
I have had so many experiences that illustrate this, heck one time in hawaii i was running an open mic night and this band came in and they were looking for a drummer. We played together and they were enthusiastic and said they would call me later that week. They never did, later I heard they had asked other people about me and found out that I was some kind of 'loser' in the eyes of the local hawaiians because I 'just' ran an open mic at an 'uncool' bar.
People are trained through a sort of learned helplessness to not even be able to recognize what is right in front of them, and they guide themselves by external opinions that have little or nothing to do with reality. So the number of people who are able to actually even see me, who actually for instance read my blog and not just skim it or see who upvoted me and who didn't, are very, very, very few.
This makes it easy to 'brush that dirt off my shoulder' like jayz says. I don't like jayz because he obviously buys into the fake world and promulgates it, but the song is still correct. If you really believe you have something in your life, then it should be very difficult for anyone to knock you off your stance.
When I feel criticized 99.9% of the time they are talking about their imagination of who they think I am, not who I am. Humanity is very, very sick right now and I see no signs of that changing, however, good people are good not because they are going to win, but because they believe in goodness itself. And frequently also, that what we see here isn't the entirety of situation.
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It is important to understand the motivation behind such criticism and be able to self-evaluate yourself adequately. Otherwise, the "don't take it personally" approach may lead to plain arrogance.
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I do take things possibly sometimes though I'm actively working at this. I regard what people have to say as their business. A popular man said "If you don't want people to talk about you, do nothing. Therefore I completely ignore people's bad opinion. Just keep it to yourself or say it but dont allow it to reach my ears else we gonna brawl real good
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great analysis. you are absolutely right. thank you a lot
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@denmarkguy I don't know How Good at That is I?
I can't understand it....
I think, i am not good...
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Beautiful picture @denmarkguy
I like this flower
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Easier said than done...to control one`s emitions and feeling is an art, when being judged. ..
One of the hardest things to do for me, but I always try my best. .
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Nice picture. good post
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There are some points I would like to share that may help me and others not taking things personally:
People are more likeky become offensive when they felt undervalued, ignored, offended and felt insecure because of what is said or done.Take their deeds as a reaction that is done to protect themselves so it is not about you.
People may be offensive because they have a bad experience with something you have said or done which also is not about you.
Not taking things personally doesn’t nessicarily mean not to respond. You still can respond in a controlled and ratinale way without getting emotional which will not serve you.
Thanks @denmarkguy.
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Yes, practicing rational instead of emotional responses is usually much easier said than done. :D
Since I'm a tango dancer, I can tell you that it's always hard not to take it personally when someone doesn't want to dance with you - although it is completely normal that each of us has their own favorite and least favorite partners (for many reasons aside from objective dancing skills) + the dance might have been refused or not offered for many other reasons, including avoidance of really appreciated partners when we don't feel fine within ourselves.
Cheers! : )
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Frankly speaking I never thought in this way
It's a good idea to see other perspective in this way. I am pretty straight person who doesn't afraid to express his emotion and many time i pay big due to my emotional behavior. I try my best to keep control but it's easy to say and difficult to apply. Your idea of treating person is far better. Hopefully it will work for me.
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Much easier said than done indeed .... ;)
So, we're on - are you coming ??? :D :D :D <3
https://steemit.com/steemevent/@copensteem/copensteem-is-happening-news-and-updates
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As you said, easier said than done. I do take things personally and it often pisses me off. I try to be different but sometimes it's just hard. That doesn't mean I am giving up on that since it is one of my main goals to achieve but heck yeah, it definitely takes some practice.
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