Ever Wanted to Just Pack Up Your Life and Move Far Far FAR Away?

In my younger days, I was not always particularly mentally stable. 

In my 20's and 30's I often battled various degrees of depression, although I was never formally diagnosed-- I tended to avoid doctors and people who could poke around inside my head.

Somehow, I managed to keep going, in spite of myself.

Just HOW far away do you want to go?

One of the ways I could always get a handle on my state of being was by looking at my pattern of "wanting to get away."

Perhaps we've all experienced that, at one time or another. Life starts to get really hard and dreary... and the idea of simply packing our stuff and moving to some place far away where nobody knows us, and we can just start from scratch again... becomes unusually appealing.

It's a place I'd quite often reach... but I could also tell "how far over the edge" I was going, based on just how far away I wanted to go. 

If all I wanted to do was to just move to another city somewhere, it was usually not a big deal. If I wanted to disappear to some small town somewhere... I was probably in more serious trouble. However, the real sign of "deep trouble" was when places like Jan Mayen, Tristan da Cunha or Macquarie Island started to look good to me. These were places so remote most people hadn't even heard of them... often only populated by seals, sea birds and perhaps a small geological station.

Most of my struggles and pains back then had to do with people, and the "weight" it felt like they brought to my life. If I could just go so far there weren't any people anymore... maybe I could find a measure of peace. Or so I thought.

Wherever you go, you bring yourself with you...

Of course, I wasn't really trying to get away from anyone... I was trying to get away from myself.

Well... maybe not entirely, but mostly. I was actually pretty content being in complete solitude, most of the time. 

The problem with running away-- the the whole notion of giving yourself a fresh start-- is that wherever you go, you "bring yourself with you." Meaning that you might be able to change the geography around you... but soon enough, the same patterns that caused your life to feel so painful in the previous location will start to manifest.

And before you know it, you'll be ready to move far, far, FAR away again... pretty much for the same reasons as the previous time.

My friend Diana-- who also happened to be a therapist for a living-- once pointed out to me that there is nothing wrong with wanting to give yourself a fresh start in new surroundings. You just have to make sure that-- when you DO go-- the "version" of yourself you take along is someone healthy who has worked through the problems that tend to cause their life to break down. 

Although there were many times when I wanted to move away-- and some desolate island looked really attractive-- I never actually did.

And when I finally made a move across the country-- from Texas to Washington state-- I made quite sure that I had thoroughly worked through my issues related to wanting to "run away..." before I made the commitment to move.

As a result, I did actually get a fresh start-- and found a happier life, as a result of moving.

How about YOU? Have you ever wanted to just grab some stuff and move to some other place and start over? Did you act on your feelings? If yes, how did it work out for you? At the time, were you mostly running away from yourself, even if blaming the situation on something else? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created 20170825 23:45 PDT