I'm struggling. Looking for your thoughts on a fairly common yet often unaddressed neurosis/psychological condition I am calling "confession compulsion."
Please enjoy the video. I look forward to hearing your commentary.
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
(1) Toxic shame/ guilt:Toxic Shame is a neurotic, irrational feeling of worthlessness, humiliation, self loathing and paralysing feeling that has been inflicted onto an individual through repeated, traumatic experiences often, but not always, rooted in childhood.
This is one of tbe first things i thought listening to you. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure it out also. Above is the bare bones definition of it. I grew up in a very similar environment as what you described. Eerily similar. Its wreaked havoc on My life. However. One thing I've started doing is the radical acceptance of my past. Its helped me move Away from that largely irrational mindset. What we Are doing with this, is instead of setting the record straight as we think we are, we are instead coming up with these neurotic, irrational things, presenting them to those closest to us. In your heart of hearts you know that acknowledging you looked at a pretty girl is not wrong. even in your video you said, and I paraohrase "then they think i have feelings for the person if it was such a big deal to bring it up "
Its a forn of self sabotage. It is a self defeating cycle as you are trying to prove that you are unworthy by having these impulsive, highly emotionally charged moments. This is common in people who were traumtixed in the developmental phase. You are almost hoping to find that rejection as a sort of twisted self fulfilling prophecy
its helped me to work on radical acceptance. Its helped me to realize that by self sabotaging in this way ultinatelt is showing i don't love myself enough to cut that shit out. Easier said than done. I still struggle daily. You can Google radical acceptance
(2) Paranoia: being abused by your caretaker as a child causes extreme issues with trust and BIG but irrational feelings of abandonment
(3) Ruled by emotions: as a fellow empath these issues are only made worse as when we are in a "flared up " mode, we are ruled by our emotions. Ultimately we have got to ascertain how we can move, not to state of robotic logic, but in the middle - which is wisdom. The place we want to be sandwiched between being mostly logically minded (Also not healthy) and emotionally ruled. Google "three states of mind "
So hope these ramblings help. Radical acceptance of Mt painful past helps me to realize that the current pepple Ib my life love meand aren't looking at me harshly like those I me past. Not that acceptance is not condonment. It is merely accepting that parts of life will be painful. Accepting that Pain will never complete go away but it Doesnt have to haunt you daily causing irrationality.
If you're interested, i did a blog a few days ago talking a lot about radical acceptance
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https://steemit.com/psychology/@chelsea88/therapy-is-a-waste-of-time
^ with analogies on radical acceptance
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Thanks for both your comment and this link. I look forward to reading it. Thanks so much.
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Not a problem, hope it helps :)
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Nothing to be ashamed of my friend, it's just your subconsious mind going into survival mode. You can't help it.
May I suggest EFT, it's free, you can do it yourself and it taken 30 minutes to do a session with amazing results. I've used it on myself and others and each time the resukts and reactions amazes me. Google EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique.
Now on another subject, why are you still on youtube and not Dtube? where every like on your video is automatically an upvote?
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That is a good question., I gave yet to get over there and try it out.
I have heard of EFT and briefly tried it once. I did find it to have a strangely calking effect. Thanks so much for the encouragement. It really means a lot to me.
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A fascinating video - I must confess I have never had an urge to confess anything...ever... (not even staring at boobs) possibly I'm a psychopath
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Hahah. Nah, you probably are of sound mind, my friend.
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Hi friend ,it's wonderful. Confession of some thing,for which you are suffering from is a great relief. It is a psychological term, related to heart and mind. Human beings have a great world in their mind, every time they are suffering from right or wrong hypothesis. I have a question, if someone have done very very good for you and your feelings grow up for that person, what do you do ,You suppress your feelings or confess it ? Please give me the answer. Thanks for sharing such an amazing fact about human psychology. Wish you a very good day.
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Everyone has to decide for themselves what to do, I think. That is the hard part about life, but also the best part, I think, otherwise we would be robots.
Yes, we have all kids of ideas, and often they have nothing to do with reality. It can be very painful indeed.
Hope you are doing well over there!
Steem on!
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Thanks for the valuable reply, yes it is very hard part to deside, in fact I am quite confident about me, but have not any idea if other side also have the same effect. By the way I wrote a poem about that feelings,if you like my feelings then please reply, I want hear from you. Have a very beautiful day.
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This deserves some attention. Upvoted and resteemed :]
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Thank you.
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Wish you feel better !!@kafkanarchy84
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wow man, i had no idea people suffer this stuff. Are you in recovery, no offence but you used some terms i have heard before? Anyway wishing you well and glad you have a sense of humour.
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Yes, perpetually in recovery, as I believe we all are, in some way or another. Thanks for the comment and yeah, you gotta laugh!
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i have a new music comp up -- please enter if you would enjoy it
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Just be honest and don't judge yourself too hard. Then there is no need for confession compulsion.
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nice u r struggling hope u get some one more good in ur comentry @kafkanrchy sir and get more experience from some bests
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Good job n I upvote u.....
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wow! that is a lot... but one thing is for sure.......... everyone of us is unique. every choices we made is unique. everybody has a different way and has each mind and past. we also have different surroundings when the moment of choosing is there to respond with. and then later on...choose again;;;; Just share why you do it upon choosing to do it during your confession, might help remove the fears of rejection. If what you did is just totally for fun... who said you can not have fun...good luck!
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This is interesting, I have not really experienced confession compulsion myself but totally get it as I have acted on different compulsions and understand the movements of energy involved. I use a method of self inquiry to cope with thoughts and emotions, in particular there is something called the compulsion inquiry designed by Scott Kiloby where we look into our present experience in search of the actual command to act on whatever the compulsion might be, I would encourage anyone struggling with any condition of this sort to take a look at Kiloby's work with "the living inquiries"
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this post a beautifull...
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Here, have a vote!
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hahaha xD
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