Opposites Attract: A Romantic Reality or Just a Romantic Idea?

The classic relationship belief that opposites attract is prevalent to this day. Even if relationship experts say it works, and most of us believe we want a complementary (opposite) partner not a similar one, is it true that opposite personalities are best suited for relationships? Do opposites really attract in the long term?

Source, Source

This saying that opposites attract in relationships, specifically romantic relationships, is due to an oversimplified blind analogy with how magnets function. Just because opposites strongly attract for magnets, the conclusion is that the ideal relationship is the one with the strongest attraction because it's based on two people being opposites.

Studies have previously been conducted to see what makes a better partner: similar (homogamy), different (heterogamy) or opposite (complementarity). A meta-analysis was done for the more than 240 studies in the past 60 years, which found that the winner is homogamy, which is when a relationship is founded on similarities. Being similar to someone and being interested in them go hand-in-hand, and this even found across cultures.

Similarity being associated with attraction makes homogamy the most successful. This is also found in assortative mating where people match up based on physical appearance, finance, and education levels. This doesn't mean that opposites don't attract.

People sometimes find partners who have traits that they lack, so they appear to complement one another. This can apply as the joining of: good girl vs. bad boy, ongoing vs. shy, funny vs. serious. Partners can view the other as an ideal where their weaknesses are counterbalanced by another's strengths. But there is no evidence in scientific studies about differences like religion, politics, education or personality leading to greater attraction or satisfaction.

Preferring an ideal partner has been studied, but this is about ideals that are similar and match an ideal version of ourselves that we are looking for. Similar personality traits are found to be more attractive, while opposite traits do not prove to have more attraction, as introverts are not more attracted to extroverts compared to others, for example.

The idea that finding opposite complementary partners more attractive might lead people to be together at first, but as contrasts stand out more and more, the small differences can become larger over time and cause arguments about the ways each partner is different from the other.

In general, despite partners being similar in many ways, they can shift into complementary roles as they recognize the differences in each other. Even if one person is only slightly more funny, outgoing or whatever other trait, they can take on the characterization as being the funny, outgoing, etc. one in the relationship while the other one becomes described as serious, shy, etc. even though they are only slightly less of that particular quality.

It seems opposites can attract because we want a complementary partner, but not because they form the strongest bonds. Over time issues can manifest that often create cracks in a relationship.

---

What do you think? Have your say.

• Do you prefer a partner who is similar, opposite or different than you?
• Have you found that opposites attract in relationships?
• Have you found that opposite partners in relationships end up failing?

---

Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.

---

References:

• Do People Know What They Want: A Similar or Complementary Partner?
  
• No, opposites do not attract
• When do opposites attract? Interpersonal complementarity versus similarity.
• A meta-analytic investigation of the processes underlying the similarity-attraction effect
• Do birds of a feather flock together in China?
• Unique Matching Patterns in Remarriage
• Interpersonal attraction and personality: What is attractive--self similarity, ideal similarity, complementarity or attachment security?
• Partner Selection for Personality Characteristics: A Couple-Centered Approach
• Introversion, extraversion, and interpersonal attraction
• Note on need complementarity in marriage
• When does performance feedback prompt complementarity in romantic relationships?

---

_{If you appreciate and value the content, please consider: Upvoting, Sharing or Reblogging below.
me for more content to come!}

---

_{My goal is to share knowledge, truth and moral understanding in order to help change the world for the better. If you appreciate and value what I do, please consider supporting me as a Steem Witness by voting for me at the bottom of the Witness page; or just click on the upvote button if I am in the top 50.}