I've been thinking about this a LOT lately.
About redemption and guilt and atonement for one's sins.
I think I know now, why I am a fallen angel.
From an article, written about two weeks ago now, Saint Katherine, Part I.
https://steemit.com/pastliferegression/@mymoontao/saint-katherine-part-i
"There it was again, that calm, soothing male voice.
"Kathy."
That was yesterday morning. I was sitting there on the floor in my usual space where I sit and do tarot and sort my thoughts, next to my bed. Drinking a cup of tea, I think. I clearly heard it, and I'm still thinking about it. Still reconciling that life.
If I've got this right, I am her natural reincarnation. Her next step.
Not her ghost. Not her DNA speaking, but ... my own.
At first I thought her name was Kay. Given a clue that I jumped on ... that I think now was intentionally WRONG. But all the other details lined up with that clue, about Planet Kay (New Earth). Something I've been chasing down in my genetic code for many years now of doing this healing work and fighting cancer - its a 'junk DNA' (alien) implant that calls itself 'Special K.' By junk DNA, I mean ... this is how the body views it. In truth, I believe it was an intentional part of a secret vaccine. But also, my middle name in this life is Kay. So there's that.
Was it a test?
I get now that her name was Katherine. I guess, Kathy for short? (Maybe she signed all of her notes with K. - there's a vision of yellow lined paper and a handwritten note, although I can't read all of it)."
I mentioned that I thought Katherine had died from brain cancer. Now I have come to believe that she probably committed suicide. What irony! That note... the yellow lined paper. Was that my suicide note? I suspect so.
I have mixed feelings here. I don't fully understand, nor have I recalled all of that life. In terms of WHY I would have done such a thing - committed suicide. I DO think Kathy had brain cancer, but that she may have been able to survive it in the end. The problem was, she gave up hope. I suspect that this life is/was meant to be a last chance for redemption. I think a lot of us are in this boat? Maybe the entire group of the 144 Thousand, God's Chosen. Fallen angels all.
My mixed feelings are that ... knowing myself. I can't imagine what would have caused so much pain and suffering that I would have totally given up. In this life, NOT being able to give up seems to be more of a curse sometimes, than anything else. But I suspect it was love, somehow. My mixed feelings are toward Saint Michael, or Michael the Archangel. Being judged!! Without him fully understanding why I did it? I don't know. I think maybe, I might have gotten someone's attention ... someone that really needed me to do that for them now. Was that my point?
I really meant to write in order to comment on forgiveness. NOT one of my strengths, historically speaking. Or not! My paradigms have gone through some tremendously volatile shifts over time. I feel that the goal should be Peace. Not an easy thing for a wayward soul to find these days.
Jordan Sather said in one of his videos ... 'it is going to take a lot of forgiveness to make it safe enough for people to come out of the closet and tell their stories.'
This is the thing. So many crimes are coming out in the open. Especially the really scary ones, the ones we tend to judge the most heavily ... crimes against children. Sexual crimes. I am seeing people on my Facebook feed, literally shouting for group hangings. While some people might and probably do deserve this, maybe there are those that don't.
I guess what I'm saying is, let the innocent be the ones to throw the first stones. By that I mean... as widespread as the pedophilia issue has become, I suspect that there are very few people innocent enough to throw those stones. In fact, I think it was intended... part of the old New World Order agenda ... to rope as many people into crime as possible. What I know is that ... in almost all cases, perpetrators started out as victims. Its their pain and rage and stunted growth from really terrible life experiences that created them.
Where do we draw the line?
How do we end up dealing with this social crisis without destroying our society? Turning the tide away from these crimes and the consciousness that created them, toward social change and responsibility. HEALING. Sorting out the lost and found. Creating safe circumstances for people to deal with their pain and rage in some constructive way.
We are healers, after all. God certainly made certain that our work was cut out for us. I suspect that our wounds can provide the strength for change and compassion. I think that the fallen angels all are charged with having to repeat the experiences that drove them to a fallen state, reconcile, and then start over ... with our new found strengths and silver linings that we gain from it all, guiding us forward. There comes a point I think, where it is helpful to know that it is all happening for a reason, in the end. It is really, really hard to get to this point though, and we need to understand that it is important not to give up.
Namaste.
LR 7/27/2018