Do you know what you want? □ Yes □ No

4 years ago, I realized that I didn't want anything. And I was proud that I got rid of obsessions and the burdensome duty to bring them to life. I thought I became "humble" and free from the dream-realization-agony. I found myself free from the fear that nothing would come of it. No desires, no fear. That's how I was thinking ...

But it was a mistake!

Without dreams and desires there is no any activity and the life itself. And yes, I was like a vegetable. But if to say honestly - not just vegetable, but a kind of "suffering vegetable".

And then I first did the "wish-list" exercise.

The task of the "wish-list" is to dream, to remember and to write down all of your desires. You should get a list of a 100 items. 

The first day I hadn't written a single line. On the second day - about 10 items. It was very difficult. As soon as another desire appears I started to think if I really wanted it, was it really my desire or I somehow got it from advertising, or maybe that was what my mum wanted, or maybe one of my friends ...

It was very difficult to relax and allow yourself to enjoy the various "stupid" desires like Barbie-doll that I dreamed of as a child.

The second time I did this exercise a year ago. Now it was very easy to write my wishes down. But still I got only about 60 items.

In the end, after writing these two sheets, my life had changed dramatically.

I put my dream on the most important place in my life. Thanks to the "wish-list" exercise I could see how to achieve my dream, and all these little desires became like a ladder to the happiness.

"To paint" was in both lists. And I've been painting for six months already. Besides, my husband has given me a doll from my childhood dream, and I feel like that little girl inside is still enjoying it.

With love,
NatiChi.