I waited very patiently to become a mother, it took me much longer than I ever imagined! But the wait was worth it. In 2015 my husband and I were blessed with the child we had prayed for, a beautiful baby boy. What we weren’t prepared for was his feisty spirit and unwavering stubbornness! As a previous teacher I had worked with many toddlers, but not once did I come across such a determined and strong-willed child as mine – while I waited patiently for him, he was sent to test my patience even further!
When people meet our son, they are usually instantly taken aback by his strong and uncontrollable personality. He has intense emotions, which he is not afraid to share and doesn’t react lightly to the word “no”. By all definitions, my little boy is definitely strong-willed! If you are in the same boat and have a kid like this, you know just what I am talking about. Very often, spirited children are acknowledged as “naughty” or “unruly”, but this can do so much harm to their very unique personalities.
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Here’s What Your Strong-Willed Children Want You To Know:
1. You are a good parent.
I am not feisty and headstrong because you raised me incorrectly. In fact, you are the best person to support me because you are the one who is constantly looking for answers, looking for ways to help and most of all, you always believe in me.
2. I am not a difficult child.
I know I test you at every opportunity, I know I like to push the limits. But please don’t call me a difficult child, I just might start to believe you.
3. I am not a spoiled brat.
You do not spoil me with toys and treats, I don’t demand these things. I don’t stomp my feet and throw myself on the ground because I am a horrid child. I am little and I am trying to make sense of all these big emotions I feel. I am trying to assert my independence and I am trying to communicate my frustrations. If you can help me deal with them, these strong emotions have the potential to change the world.
4. I am stubborn because I haven’t mastered the act of problem solving yet.
Spend time with me and help me to solve problems, instead of simply telling me how it should be. As little as I am, I have opinions and feelings too and I need to learn to understand that I can’t always have my way.
5. I prefer making my own choices.
I am independent like that. While I know you are in charge, my personality needs freedom to make up its own mind too. Set up choices for me within your boundaries and I won’t frustrate you as much. I love choosing what to wear and my own snacks.
6. I need stable routines.
Order and consistency helps me be prepared, which feeds my independence and makes me a much happier chappy.
7. I learn through experience.
I don’t like to always be told things, I want to learn about them and how to do them (or how not to do them). Set up activities where I can experience things with freedom, I am very capable of learning this way, in fact, this is how I learn best.
8. Please trust me?
I know that you know better, but I need to have the opportunity to make mistakes and learn for myself, I will fall, but I will get up again, I’m independent like that.
9. I will never be able to live “in a box”.
My mind isn’t built that way. I am a driven individual that sees things in a way that many others don’t. When I see an opportunity, I take advantage of it, despite the walls and obstacles in my way. I am a dreamer, a creator and I am not afraid to push the limits.
10. I’m a free spirit, but still, I need you!
As independent as I am I need you to understand that I need you on my side. Tell other’s how wonderful my personality is, do not make excuses for me. I need you to support me and guide me, not label me.
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The thing is, kids are constantly being told that they are naughty, that they need to calm down or that they are not “the boss”. Why not get down to their level and change their inner language, guide them instead of labeling them. Take their personalities, as feisty as they are, and help turn them into something wonderful.
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Much love - @sweetpea
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At the ed of the day, just as you and your husband fought to have the little blessing by your sides, I am sure that he to on some level fought to get to you, with that said he "fought" his way into this world, and his strong will simply proves that he will fight his way to the top throughout his journey - Like an undeniable, insatiable fire burning with the passion of his will!
And thank you for the wonderful inspiring points as well, every parent needs to hear these things at some stage or another.
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Your reply brought years to my eyes, thank you! If you knew his history you would know that what you are saying holds a lot of sentiment, he really DID fight his way into the world and into our arms, he has a plan for this world ans he is determined to get to it. Thank you for yo5ir kind words!
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Just a pleasure!
ONE LOVE!
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As a father of my own little 2 year old boy. I can completely relate. Everthing is 'No Daddy' luckily my wife with her teaçhing bacground is teaching me the tools not to go mad. If he says 'No' always give him a choice of two things that are both preferably to you. Eg. 'Do you want carrots or cheese?' He feels empowered to make a choice, you get him to do what you want, which is to eat. It sure is a learning experience and the hardest most rewarding job I've ever done.
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My toddler is two as well, I know the difficulties! I think parents feel that they simply need to discipline their children, which don't get me wrong, we do need to! But at the same time we forget that they are human beings with their own emotions and opinions, which we need to respect. Sounds like you are doing an excellent job though!
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Thanks, I'm doing my best but sometimes it feels like it would be easier to herd cats. I think alot of toddlers problems is that they don't have to tools to express themselves and the frustration comes out as a tantrum.
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Ha ha, herding cats, I like that, and know what you mean! Yup, I agree, most of it comes down to frustration.
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Very original approach to express it from the child's eye, the trick is no more than seeing it from the child's perspective and work your way out from there. Nice post, much love!
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Thanks, appreciate your kind words :)
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Thanks for sharing, nice post
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Thanks, and thanks for all of your supportive comments, appreciate them!
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