Why We Can't Stop Our Hands From Moving When We Talk

in psychology •  7 years ago  (edited)



I once went on a date with a guy who noticed how I moved my hands a lot as I spoke that when I noticed how he was noticing it, I accidentally almost broke the glass beside me because I just couldn't stop my hands from moving frantically as I was telling him some interesting story. Ever had an experience like this? Or maybe something a little similar at least? I know I'm just really clumsy it happened to me, but you get how somehow, your hand gestures when speaking get really out of hand (pun intended), right? Now, I'm here to tell you why:


At Loss For Words


When we are passionate about what we're talking about, we always search for the most accurate words to describe that exact feeling we had from the experience being narrated, and often we don't really find those words. So to fill in those missing words, our hands involuntarily make gestures or simply reflect on such crisis as a mechanism to still be able to send the message to the one/s we're speaking with.

I remember, during that date I mentioned, my date and I were actually having some philosophical discourse, and I was so into expressing my view which fortunately matched his (god, otherwise I might have not just almost broken the glass but even throw the whole table off speaking and all). The mini crisis at that time though was that this person barely understood the terms I used and in order to make him understand my point, my hands struggled along in search for a simpler yet still accurate term.


It's a Bilingual Thing


If you didn't know yet, I'm a Filipino, and almost everyone in the Philippines is bilingual. It's a strictly implemented thing in our education system--making sure that students are taught how to speak English as early as possible.

My parents even taught me how to speak and read English first that I had some trouble fitting in my peers when I was in preschool. I also cried a lot of times reciting our own Filipino alphabet, because I couldn't even make it to the fourth letter without being corrected in a harsh manner (well, I kept repeating the same mistakes, so the teacher was annoyed as hell!).

Now, hand gestures help us bilinguals express our thoughts, because despite the broader choice of words as we have two languages in our heads, sometimes the person we converse with only understands one or we even mix up the words from both languages ourselves that nothing really comes out our mouths at all. Also, like what advocates for Filipino languages say, we don't really master either English or our own language in the way the education system implements a strict curriculum for the said foreign language. It's true, so we resort to letting our hands do the talking instead.


It's All About the Beat


Do you notice how in formal talks or lectures like TED Talks, the speakers usually make hand gestures? They do know their words, and they have probably rehearsed their piece several times, so what could be causing that then?

It's actually a possible way of shaking off the nerves or simply emphasizing a point. You see, as a speaker myself,
I tend to do more hand gestures when I feel a little nerve kicking in. It helps me stay focused while researching the words to use as I probably kinda lost them when the nerve tried to holla at me.

Luckily, such nerve moment actually gives more life to the whole presentation as according to a human behavior consultancy called Science of People:

“Jazz hands rock.” Van Edwards noted a correlation between the number of hand gestures a speaker makes in a talk and the number of views the talk receives.

The study also found that script kills the vibe, and I guess as I always go unrehearsed like that and handle it with jazz hands, and still manage to deliver well, I always make a pretty good impression. Well I really do that that when we are asked to be grouped for some speech thing, people go on a tug of war for me (yes kids, that's humility, and please don't try that at home).

Now, they don't call it jazz hands for nothing. At least now that's what I'm going to make you believe. See, when we talk, we don't want to be just like a boring tree, so we instinctively make hand gestures to produce a sort of beat that would keep the people listening to us engaged and ourselves less anxious.


Conclusion


It's perfectly normal to have very active hands when speaking. A lot of studies even show these days that people who have those distinct hand habits when talking are actually passionate, warm, intelligent, etc., basically positive things. It's just that when you are as clumsy as me--and everyone knows how my clumsiness attacks at the most crucial times of my life like during a date--well you just gotta keep the hand on hand (pun intended again).







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I like the topics you pick for your posts. Light, entertaining and educational! Keep up! :)

Thank you! I will definitely keep it up :)

when we remain silent, the hands speak

Whaat it's a groovy header haha

You're the team leader of #TeamSavage now @thegiamarcos? #LMBO!

Haha we're coming for the greatness of Mayweather's The Money Team hahaha

He's undefeated @thegiamarcos! He's a #legend!

Hahahaha I know the nerve of me trying to fuck with the God eh?

Hahahah yea, it's all truth, non-verbal communication! :D But you must see italians, they are an extreme case :D

haha oh god, yeah I've had a conversation with one before. Oddly fascinating haha

You know, at a point people starts imitating me on how I used to fling my hands when I am giving a speech. It is not just a normal thing to have an active hand when delivering a speech or a talk but it is very good. Nice one @thegiamarcos

Thank you!

Thank you for this article. I‘ve never given much thought about gesture. Sometimes I only have the feeling when standing somewhere I have to do something with my hands I just don‘t know what. It’s hard to explain and maybe sounds kinda strange...

I guess our hands reflect our inner thoughts we can't really just express through speaking and all that. So when you're standing and you wanna do something with your hand, you're in need of expression of something probably bothering or exciting you inside.

awesome article

Thank you!

I'm a big hand flaunter as well! It's just in my blood, I've always done it. It's like dancing but you're actually just talking :P I'm greek and you tend to see a lot of greeks speak with their hands. I agree with you though, it's very much a way to express the energy that you can't quite get out in words. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have hands. It certainly is a big part of how I communicate!

Hahahaha I think it's an awesome people thing ;) I may not be a good dancer but my hands are! haha

It is psychology prove ..When man talk his hand high ..fantasting post..Dear..

True, thanks

Welcome

That was spot on but in my medical school, during ward round presentation, making a lot of hand gesture is a bad sign. It's reviewed as some form of weakness that we need to fix but I don't see it as a bad sign. Lots of people make hand gesture while giving presentation (of course lots of it would seems like clumsy rather than trying to find the right word to speak).

Too much of anything is bad as they always say