Savior complex at FB messenger
Specifically looking at:
Having people contacting me on facebook(FB)/messenger (also real life) - and who I am within that. More directly how I handle being addressed and also how I take on the "I have to help them" - character. Always thinking I have to help highlight people's issues. Instead of just being me - sharing me - without the personality/minds idea of being a savior.
I will release the addiction to the energies/personality and the systems within it, so that I don't limit myself by thinking I always have to help people, as a starting point. I will forgive within self, these systems/energies/reactions. Here we go :
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be a authority towards random people on messenger because I fear to see myself as I saw/see my dad or any authority figure from my childhood - as "hard" and "strict".
I realize here that I don't want to be seen as "hard" and "strict", and that this definition of authority is not aligned with what is best for all. I will make sure that I can redefine authority for me. Like this (short version):
sounding of the word authority:
author of me
meaning I write my own reality/living
I am the writer of my living
I am the master of my living
I direct my living for what is best for all
author of me
director of me
I write/create my own reality
authority is to be directive and aligned with what is best for all / to be a good guide and leader
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel scared and called out for having done something "bad" from seeing the messenger alert and thinking "OPS, sorry, my bad" and making myself into a fool and a victim, living the negative polarity of the savior complex - fearing the alert in itself fearing to be called out - before going into the conversation and making a mess of it from what is going on my inside - prior to the message that is shared in the conversation.
Within this I see and realize that I make a mess as of starting point of talking to people, where I think that people contact me : because they need assistance, because they need help, where my reason for chatting, become - lost in bad starting point. So people who just want to know me and talk ordinary I push away, because I become upset because I think I must help them, when this is not the case I become emotional. Like banging my head in a wall / believing I always have to help them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when someone writes me on messenger I react, because what is happening (?) I am given back that idea that I need help to sort out my authority definition and communication definition, and support definition etc. I am being given back what I originally gave out - a fragment/piece of my savior complex/personality.
Within this I see the math equation that "give as you want to receive". Where I give out that idea that "You must be helped", "I must help the other" I give out the savior complex, and then when someone writes me on messenger, I become scared out of the blue, and caught off guard because I see the same pattern served back to me - that fragment of "I must help you" or savior complex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that every time someone connects with me, I have to rescue them - immediately I start to think, I have to save them from their faults and burden. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that any and all relationship for me is to point out and address how people can change - instead of walking the talk and showing from what I live/do as my proof, and not by demanding and asking of them to change - but rather to do that change myself.
Within this I see and realize that I have been living with this x-ray vision of needing to call out peoples faults and then when people call me out on FB I think ok, here is this someone, they have issues like this and that... : "I have to help them" (lol) , or "It is my chore to help them" instead of just being me and sharing me natural, flexible and free.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as mean, from telling people bluntly that I don't have the time to chit-chat and that is not what I would like to prioritize, where I fear that I make myself superior to them and separate from them and make my life more important than theirs.
Within this I realize that I don't recon chit-chat as valuable. I look at chit-chat, or small talk, as low, and not needed. I see here that I judge the small talk, the friend making, and within this limiting me and my opportunity of finding friends. I will look into being more unconditional with small talks, to not limit myself but rather open up such points/opportunities for self to expand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and moralize small talk/ chit-chat and to think that such is just not needed and a waste of time.
Here I have grown skeptic and negative to the small talk, I don't give the small tall the credit/investment it deserves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the different people on messenger as lesser than me - because I would know how to help myself - and I think that : they do not.
Within this I see that I feel obliged to help them and to enlighten them, to highlight their weakness, with my insight, when they might not at all be ready for that, which leave me discouraged and frustrated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bad karma if I would step on the toes or insult the people on messenger.
Within this I find that I fear the unknown and I have this deep sense of needing to know, and needing thing to go smooth and I fear to cause commotion and eruption with who I am talking to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I turn down this chat/talk - I turn down a golden opportunity.
Here, I see that back door within the savior complex that is like "Ok - so if I help you - what's in it for me" - where ego plays on the savior complex and ego tuned itself in - through expecting a great reward for me assisting my fellow man.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to turn people down and I fear to not be liked.
Within this I see the limitations to me and me being a savior/people pleaser.
It is me who have to let go of the "I need to help you" character.
So this makes it clear that it's not so much about helping, but rather for me important to give up the "I have to help you" rigid character and rather be myself - naturally communicating, anywhere - I must let go of the savior/pleaser complex and be free.
Some analyzes within this :
First I feel "called out", from the messenger alerting me that someone wants something from me. I feel slightly threatened on that. Like a teacher calling out my name - feeling like I done bad.
Second I soon go into savior complex and, try to "rescue them" try to help them. I take on the character of "I must help you" - When I see that they do not want to help them self, I then go into sacrifice myself to save them. And within this I end up feeling irritated and frustrated, hopeless and judgmental at them for how they can't seem to value what I do. I go into the negative pole of judging being angry at the people who seek contact.
And I compromise my chances of meeting new people. Where I learn that support and assisting is cool if my starting point is good/grounded. Meaning to be myself naturally and here, not stuck on "I have to help and enlighten you"
So how do I define support ? What is good support ? Interesting question !
With the word support I first look at the word and sounding it, I think of health support and doctors, especially sports (!) nurses, therapists, self support like nutrition and body care, yoga, exercise and therapy.
So I would like to be supportive and to give support to others like I support myself.
Within the word, support, funny enough, there lies the word "cups", and the particular cups that USA football stars use. I was to learn about these "cups" from TV culture and I was fascinated by the fact that this is a device and a industry to make and sell such cups - for protection and support. So I have defined the cups that football players use to the word support. Within this I see the massive industry and culture that is built around football and systems around sports. It is quite alarming lol. So this is evident that my relation to the word support is affected by my relation to sport and US football.
Also I see the intimate sex - point that I am maybe pushing away potential partners - because I think "I must help you and enlighten you", and simply not being content with being only myself, natural and unconditional.
So support is assistance, tips, life hacks, and guidance to the protagonist. The best given support on something is what I have self been through myself.
Sounding of the word supportive:
support
stop over me
sure about me
soup port
soup word
soup food
scoop in words
soup cup
To me support is that what self has been through. If someone who has firsthand experience can explain that would be best.
I will open up for talking more small talk, and to demystify the whole talking to someone anywhere - to use common sense and to find best for all solutions rooted and grounded in my physical.
Like, if there is time to chat to someone I will take that time to talk and communicate, open up simply share, but when I am in a rush I might just say that/write that I can't just now, and be honest like that.
I will be me for me self support and self authority.
I want to continue to support myself as well as other people online and in physical, and to do so within being me, natural, supportive, free and flexible.
Thanks for reading !
