Am I the only one with a lot of doubts?

At least I wish I could say that I am at Machu Picchu, but that would be a lie.

I chose to become a freelance writer. Obviously, English is not my native language, so there are times when I am struggling big time, thinking if I should continue with my writing. I feel how my mind is spinning in a f-ing vortex right now.

My positive side indicates that I have some awesome thoughts and I have improved massively over the last couple of years, which is amazing. Somehow I am sure that I know how to tell things and I have things to tell. That said, my evil side, which only wants me to fail miserably in life, keeps attacking me with one massive statement, "Your English sucks and everyone can spot it, dear loser." And I know for sure that I can improve my English with time, but this thought just never leaves my head.

Now I realize that my self-doubt comes from the massive amount of information available for us... and some pretentious people, who think that they know how everything works and choose to follow even the most ridiculous rules as long as their comfy lives are not attacked. I don't like those people. I don't like rules either (mostly because I know too little of them). I don't like to wrap stupid text in a shiny cover and pretend that I wrote a masterpiece. And most of all, I don't like my level of English as it keeps pushing me down to the pit of failure. Am I doing anything besides complaining to both of my readers on Steemit? Of course, I do. However, it is not significant at the moment. Let's focus on doubts.

Those shiny professional covers are very useful when it comes to covering the incompetency. And people are comfortable with that. People don't want ideas; they want random words which are written in a correct order. At least that is what I learned so far. Also, I am learning how to write in that correct order to survive in this vicious world. Oh yes, I have no dignity whatsoever. Anyway, the next time you have doubts about your competence, remember that everyone around you is just as terrible as you are. That helps a lot. And also - learn the rules how to look confident. People are not interested enough to look any deeper than the first layer, so you should be alright.

That's my advice for today. I'll let my mind, which is boiling in doubts, rest now. Tomorrow is a new day, and I must be ready to receive a couple of new rejections. After all, what's the fun of succeeding in the first time?

P.S. I consider myself to be a successful human being with a massive amount of potential. However, my doubts are living an independent life, and have the power to control my body from time to time.