Writing Things Wrong

I'll tell you a little secret.
English isn't my native language.

"We definitely knew that."
"First of all you keep pointing that out."
"Every single change you get."

Yeah, I do, don't I.
I try to explain things with it.
Insaniness, non existing small talk and writing things wrong.
Bad jokes. Black humor.

"We've noticed."
"Your grammar could be better."
"Your jokes too."
"And the fact that you make the words bend to your own will, is driving us crazy!"
"Our brains hurt and eyes bleed."

Yes, yes! Brain matter, blood and guts! That's what I like!

"And the fact that when you say one thing you sometimes mean the opposite."
"And the exaggerating!"

Never in my life, my child's life, my parents life and every single people I know, have I exaggerated anything. Never, ever!

"When you point out, you really do point out something."
"You treat the Steemit like it's you Monoblogue."
"If you comment, you sure make them loooooooong."
"You infect other people too. Force them to do the same."

Sorry.
I can't help it.
It's like a disease.
I like off-topic talk.
I like the things that are barely mentioned.
Ignore the obvious and point out everything else.
I don't have a problem.
I can handle it.

I have to admit that the automatic spell checking what I use and rely on when commenting, sometimes corrects my words so that the meaning changes completely.
But I have another secret to tell you.
Sometimes I do that on purpose.

"We know."
"And the combination of all these. It's confusing."
"Plus the fact that you like to put words in other people's mouths."
"Steemit is supposed to be a proof of brain place. So what are you..."

I DON'T LIKE TO PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE!

Image: CC BY-SA Insaneworks

Inspired by the ending of my previous post, I'd like to share few things that prove how important it is (sometimes) to check the combination of the letters you've put together to make words. I am sure at least one of the people I've talked with here appreciates this kind of humor. Not mentioning anyone @mathowl.

Little things matter.
Litter things matter.

Flash you teeth.
Floss your teeth.

Sex sells.
Sex shells.

smell the colon
smell the cologne

donut
doughnut
dog nut

nutcase
nut chase

as good
Ass. Good!

...but I...
butt eye

I want to save the world.
I want to shave the world.

born free
porn free
free porn

anti climate
anticlimax

before bed
before ded

public transport
pubic transport

Are you sure you want to exit?
Are you sure you want to exist?

E vill let you com up whit the proverb senescence's for some of tease. And in went fee more. May bi meek images out-of tees ideas.