It’s a dull morning to wake up. When the clouds are the color of muffled tones of morning skies. It’s quite confusing opening your eyes and it’s dark out still. You feel a queasy feeling settle in the pit of your stomach. “You’re supposed to be sleeping”, a voice in your head whispers, but the familiar drone of the alarm somewhere between the sheets of your bed screams at you. You reach out to silence the incessant repeating tune, to no avail. The grey sheets have gotten entangled with each other. You also have animals sleeping next to you to consider.
Their sleeping bodies are going to keep you warm in the coming winter months. It’s something to look forward to.
Green envy piles in my cessant body. She's next to him right now. The curve of his waist hugging the side of hers, and how his smell of perfume would linger in the air, had me up on my feet. Another morning of bile ravenously leaving my body, and my stomach is empty again.
"Be honest with me, do you love her?"
"Yes"
I don't remember what was said after that or the conversation that led up to it. I don't know why I'm replaying old worn memories in my head at 5AM either. Maybe it is that I love to punish myself. God knows, he does.
"You can't be with someone for so long and not love them a little. She was there for me when I needed someone"
The words cut through my mind. They were sharp and precise, knowing instinctively where to sever veins and open nerves. Every time we fought he'd throw it right there in the open like you'd drop something in a pile of water ridden mud, watching the remnants splatter everywhere; it was I who left him.
(Credit to the artist, the art does not belong to me, neither do I know who made it. All I know is I love it. Feel free to link me to the artist if you know them)