(JaiChai) - "Breaking: Age of Ancient Monolith is Re-Written" (Humor/Parody/Fiction)

(cover image by Pinterest)

From the Author :

I've been OBE (Overcome By Events) lately and kinda missed writing for the joy of it.

That's why I took a little time to create this micro-news flash.

In lak'ech, JaiChai.

"Breaking: Age of Ancient Monolith is Re-Written" (Humor/Parody/Fiction)

(image by author)

By JaiChai, TGN Lead Investigative Reporter

Torum Global News (Egypt Station), March 14, 2021 :

Recent geological surveys of anomalous water-weathering by Professors: Alwinc, Yfenggo, Cryptotron and Kolila684's "SART" (Science and Artifact Recovery Team) from Torum University, Cairo, Egypt, indicates that the Great Pyramids are actually "younger" than the mysterious DOGE ("Dee-Oh-Jee") stone monolith.

Funded by the U.S. Oceanographic and Global Underwater Survey Services (OGSS) and the Department of the Navy, further exploration of the structure's lowermost chambers is scheduled for Q3, 2021.

Here's why the United States is paying thousands of Bitcoin for the sole rights to this "scientific journey into the past".

At the end of WWII, 1,963 ancient Mesapotamian cuneiform tablets were recovered from Hitler's suicide bunker.

Under the "Truman U.S. National Security Act", the tablets were held in the archives of "Witch Mountain" - a secure USAF facility in an undisclosed location within the Colorado mountain range.

(image by Stanford University)

Translation and Analysis of the clay tablets tell a story of Pre-Diluvian panic. Consequently, all members of the elite High Priesthood were tasked with protecting (hiding) the "secret numbers of the Gods", purportedly in the bowels of the Great DOGE "Dee-Oh-Jee" monument.

Most NSA, MIT and Israeli Cyber-Security experts believe that the "God Numbers" are actually 10Gb, encrypted private keys that enable access to a dozen golden, mercury filled, reverse-osmosis powered hardware wallets.

These wallets are believed to contain Annunaki and Pleadian Life/Energy tokens (aka Cryptocurrency) dating back to at least 450,000 years ago.

(image by BitChute)

Also, reverse-cryptographic studies by China's Quantum Computer and Bitcoin Mining Center show that the ancient Cryptocurrency correlates with high-energy Terraforming formulas and advanced CRISPR Cas-19 DNA splicing for creating intelligent life...

[[End of story?]

By JaiChai

May you and yours be well and love life today. In lak'ech, JaiChai.

This is YOUR TORUM INVITATION!

(>images by author)

JaiChai 3-14-2021. Simultaneous multi-site submissions posted. All rights reserved.