Searching for my lilith

I'll call her lililth instead of her actual name. My mother left us for a summer when i was 7. For days and nights my farther and i would search for her. I'd leave out at night by myself looking for her. One day while i was searching a man approached me he to me had a familiar face so i asked as i showed him her picture have you seen this woman I'm looking for her. He said he knew where she was and to follow him my heart began to race i was excited i found her. We walked up to a car and got in we rode for along while and pulled up to a house. He pointed and said she's in there so we got out the car and went inside he told me she was upstairs so i ran up the stairs calling her name when i got to a room and opened the door my heart sank i didn't see her i saw chains a bucket and bars on the window and i knew then something was wrong. I closed the door and turned around and there was two men in front of me i looked back and there were more men behind me i said to the man what's going on and he replied your mother's not here she's probably dead and she doesn't care about you i have you now. They began to walk up on me i tried my best to fight them but i was too small to. They beat me making sure not to hit me in the face. I remember blacking out when i came to i was in the basement in shackles one around my neck both my wrists and my feet i was trapped. The man was sitting in a chair in front of me. He told me if i wanna live i'll do what he says he then pulled out his penis and said do you know what to do with this and i looked down and replied yes i began giving him oral as he made sounds of satisfaction to my performance other men came down the stairs i was then surrounded they all wanted me to please them so before i knew it i was being instructed use both hands do me now me your good at this we won't hurt you if you don't stop they would release in my mouth on my face all over my body that became my days and nights at random i was to suck them off they took things further the next morning they began penetrating me it hurt a lot no matter how much i cried and begged them to stop they continue they began dressing me in girls clothes calling me girls names that's the only time they wouldn't hurt me if i refused to wear the clothes they'd beat me feed me only dog food and treat me badly i know what it's like to be in fear. They would burn me with cigarettes cut me while they raped me. For a while i was reluctant they toyed with my mind a great deal they'd starve me sometimes too. They did everything they could to break me. And i was getting to a point where i was beginning to lose my mind.