Day -1 | The last day until I start my new employment based on my fake CV

                                          -

The butterflies are soaring; I'm getting pretty nervous about starting my new employment tomorrow.
If you read my previous material you would know that I am particularly nervous because I have lied on my CV, 3 interview meetings and on a personality test to win this position. The one positive thing in my favor for this situation is my experience doing this.

In my previous post, I explained how hard it was for me to get a decent job being honest. After hitting rock bottom through a job as a teacher in Asia, in which I was robbed and kicked out by my boss, I thankfully got my hiney back home after getting some much needed help back home. This was my turning point. Being and acting good did no longer cut it in my world. It was now time for me to incorporate new personas for the job applications I was responding to.

I was desperate considering my economic situation as I was living on borrowed money. But I had plenty of free time and my own apartment, perhaps even more important, I had YouTube. I started watching and learning from videos such as how to dress for success, gestures, non-verbal language and interview prepping videos. My best friend who was a slick talker became my first phone reference. At this time, a family member did now own a retail shop. As he hired me and paid me under the table, I obviously improved my economy in the short term. But the best thing was that I could now start to get help from him. Not only did he become my second point of reference but also a possibility to fill in some dubious spaces in my CV.

I started to get an increased interest from employers and particularly from recruitment agencies. This improved as I started to create various versions of pretend roles in this retail business at my family member. But let me tell you, it was surely exciting to go to these interviews. But being the noob that I was, the negative aspect resulted in various awkward situations where I made a fool of myself at potential employers. On top of this, I also burned future employment bridges and surely must have become blacklisted at a fair share of places. Ever since then I have continued to make various CV-improvements and adding fake CV-versions. Amongst other things, I realized that employers were not keen on calling foreign references which made me add leader positions to my CV (which apparently increased my potential salary). Other things that I have experimented with have been creating fake recommendation letters. You know, buying different luxury printing papers and really upselling myself. But this is considered highly illegal so I only use these as a quick show. My list of cheating excellence regarding employment is way to long for me to cover even in a few blog posts as I have been a cheater for more than 6 year to this point.

Finally, my lies manifested into real employment!

A couple months later I had a friend that recommended me to stay with him in another Scandinavian country and apply for jobs there. 2 weeks later, I finally won my first real employment! This was at a large financial institution and the salary I received was a whopping $ 5,000 USD / month. The role surrounded work around large global financial contracts and transactions. It was quite exciting to be responsible for amounts often reaching 9 figures. After staying there for over a year, I got really bored with the job and the foreign city that I lived in. Being overly confident that I would now win high paying employments whenever I wanted to, I decided to resign, cash out my earnings and travel for quite a long while. However, after that experience, I have built on my cheating and lying experiences via becoming employed as a high level salesman, an economical municipal worker and a customer service expert in the medicine business. The only common denominator that all these positions shared was that they all fired me.

So, believe me when I tell you that I know how hard it is to work at a new work place when you don’t have a clue what you are actually supposed to do in your role, especially considering the raised pressure of stating that you are somewhat of an expert in areas of that they are looking to fill.

More about the company that I will start to work for tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I start from scratch once again, this time at the international head office for a tech firm in my home city. This company employs over 200 people worldwide and its total annual turnover is between $50-100M USD. This time I will take on an office role where I am the main point of administration and economy for nearly 30 employees. Today, I am much more confident in my administrative skills compared to 5 years ago, but the part that worries me will be to handle economic responsibility in terms of accounting, report writing and supervising several financial areas for an entire region at the company. No wonder why they explicitly asked for people with several years of experience.

Would you be nervous?

(Image taken from http://vz.ae/2016/06/28/5-ways-to-spot-a-liar-in-business/ )