How I Made $1.32 in 12 Hours on the New Blockchain Based Social Media Site Steemit

in reality •  8 years ago 

I figured this is more applicable to more people than The Dollar Vigilante's post, plus I have a six pack in me so this seemed like a good idea from the get go!

So let's cut to the chase, you and I both know that we're never going to make $15,000 in 12 hours off of one of our post.

But Why Tuck? I put so much time into my post!

Because you're not The Dollar Vigilante, nor were your breasteses (that's the correct spelling, trust me) created by Michelangelo, like Brenda Zambrano's (seriously, have you seen them, they are amazing!). So like most of us, you and I are going to make a few cents to a few bucks off of our lousy post and even our tremendous post because we're not the chosen one's.

We were not gifted with starry blue eyes and the ability to smoke a cigarette like we're having the best sex evah with it. No we're normal human beings, with normal lives, relegated to the sidelines to watch life's heroes absorb all of the glory we think we should at least get a taste of once in a while.

But most of us won't. We will never taste that $15,000 post, we will never smoke a cigarette like Jeff Berwick (no matter how much we practice in a mirror), and no our breasteses will never look like Brenda's no matter how many Medicine Ball Pushups we do.

It's time for a reality check.

Stop trying to make that $15,000 post! It's just not going to happen.

Instead, start making 15,000 $1.00 post!

That's right, in only 3,740 days at 4 post per day, you too can reach that $15,000 milestone! And then you can give a big fat middle finger to the world because you've achieved your goal! And best of all, you didn't need starry blue eyes, the ability to smoke a cigarette like it was giving you an instant orgasm or breasteses that were so perfect you'd swear that Jesus touched them (I really think he would in this case, no offense Jesus, but you know you would).


Trust me, I've done the math for you.

Conclusion

We suck at life. Just face it. We don't have the intellect to discuss anarchism at great length without resorting to, "just do your own research!". Nor do we possess the body of Venus (only better in Brenda's case). We're middle of the road, working class, hoi polloi, proletariat's.

We just need to accept who we are and make the best of it. Sure, every once in a while one or two of us will make a post that garners a lot of attention, and the rest of us should embrace that moment with the individual that accomplished the great feat. Because we all know, tomorrow they'll be making $1.32 just like the rest of us. They had their moment ... and now it's gone. Back to reality for you my friend!

Embrace the suck.

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I aim to please. ;)

People expecting to make thousands of dollars with little time or effort invested in steemit are going to fail in the long run big picture view of steemit. They tend to be the same ones who try hard twice and then start to claim that Steemit is a ponzi scheme, or that whales are collaborating to enrich themselves.

(Note that whales votes are a token of approval for what is posted. If they upvoted sub par content, not only does that discourage writers who spend days creating content, but in the long run will hurt quality).

It is possible to have a 15K dollar post, but if that is your only goal in posting, you will almost surely come away disappointed.

That being said I have formulated a way to ensure getting at least $26,130.99. It won't be easy, but if you possess the "breasteses" of Brenda and the "Crypto-brilliant handsomeness" of Jeff, I will guarantee that payday or I will personally double your money!

(Not really in case they decide to someday have a child together and financially ruin me).

tumblr_o54fc9TV0q1u5d94lo3_128071674.jpg

Did Brenda borrow your shirt Jeff? - I really like the color - you gotta show her that pic she'll probably think you might be her long lost twin bro ;-)

I'm secretly hoping both @brendazambrano and @dollarvigilante both weigh in (although in all honesty, I would be totally ok if only Brenda did)

(Wow didn't see the latter already posted lmao, I can get you a limited edition centerfold of this if you wish @dollarvigilante or two if you (and your wife?) may wish to have separate ones).

Who knows what the future holds! It may soon be possible.

Neuralizer108384.png

(Wow didn't see the latter already posted lmao, I can get you a limited edition centerfold of this if you wish @dollarvigilante or two if you (and your wife?) may wish to have separate ones). BTW great podcast! I listened to it last night and I truly enjoyed how you almost accidentally made $15K with no knowledge of what was going on haha. Great interview with @ned and @dan. Maybe you can do a post on Spells of Genesis sometime, since I am now a subscriber to your podcast. Feel free to mention this picture on the podcast, as it will make at least one listener smile :)

Damn, Jeff! You've got nice boobs!

Dammit, I wish I had thought to do this. +100!

Haha! And we thought Kim K broke the internet - She doesn't have anything on Brenda Berwick. I'd be happy to help you out with some Photoshop pictures or ideas as I think our humor is consistently on the same level.

That is pretty rough on the eyes...

I am actually working on a post to explain how I have gotten to the point where I can make $15k on a post.. short story: it took 6 years of working every day and writing every day. But, if you are focused, you can too... I'll write a post on some of the tips I've learned along the way.

It takes a lot of time to be an overnight success. Thanks Jeff.
Kurt

People don't realize that you have a great reputation and following, even before you chose to transition to steemit. You didn't simply make an #introduceyourself post and then magically get $15k. This is a way for the whales to monetarily reward you for what you have done through your podcast and the value and credibility you are adding here.

If you can recommend any other podcasts that cover cryptocurrency or blockchain technology advancements I would love to hear some of your favorites. Just having a platform for @ned and @dan to speak to your listeners attracts the type of people that as a community I believe we want here.

You are proof that the real race is get rich slow. Building, networking, and collaborating with others I'm sure has opened up many opportunities for you that would not be available if you were to simply jump to a new field of work.

I'm trying not to promote my own posts often as I find that tacky, but I do believe that for those frustrated about the early growing pains of hard work yielding peanuts, I have a contest you might be interested in.

$50 Steem Dollars To The Best Entry In A Contest For Those Who Have Never Made More Than $10 On An Individual Post

Enter as many times as you wish and I hope to find some hidden gems that have gone unnoticed so far.

Looking forward to it! By the way, please post pictures of yourself doing yoga!!

Yeah, it generally takes a decade or so of hard work, to achieve what is seen as "overnight success".

That is the funniest fucking post Ive ever read, I mean the addition of the fibonacci spiral overlay on Brenda's Zambrano's lovely jumblies is without doubt a stoke of genius...I hope you make $15000 on this one but if not you have made me laugh.

Hahahha, bloody great stuff; this is the classic Tuck we know and love! :-D

Cg

@tuck-fheman I refer you to your previous post: https://steemit.com/steem/@tuck-fheman/steemalyzer-select--new-steem-account-tool

That said, this is one of the most amusing drunk posts I have seen; and I can only imagine it will add to your considerable reputation.

That said, how are you still conscious?

My Steemalyzer Selects batteries were kaput. =/

Kaput! Haha...

Hi! @tuck-fheman
Posts in this two articles was the shock.
Comments referred to the Vote, Vote is called a comment, same as above
If there is even the chance, is it posted to me to prove that there is a chance.

Well Tuck, You have shattered many dreams of the poor population. But i still think a constant effort with quality posts will pay off.
I definetly made a huge 5cents off my intro post, but hey, maybe soon a post of mine will attract some attention.
I may also make that 15k post count without getting to that $1 per post mark. But in the end, I do find some good articles to read, some are interesting and others make me laugh. Whether I make 5$ or $100k posting on STEEMIT, its still 100% more than i would get on FB or twitter, and I enjoy my time on here much more than the others.
Great post tho... Dream killer

yeah I made .05 in 24 hours on my intro post but I'm not famous, I've just quietly doing my anarcho-thang since the 80s.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Haha! I like your spirit. Yeah I'll get cracking on the 15,000 posts :) Thanks for the comic relief splattered with reality. Cheers.

Man, I am almost up to $1.32 on this comment :)

I love your article, especially as you conceived it under the creative influence of..BEER. Drink more, write more my friend :-)

Excellent advice Tuck. I'm going to take it at full value and start right now with this post. Only 3739 days and 3 more posts to go! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and inspiration. (I won't even mention the irony of your post making over $1000 after about 18 hours)

$963.65 post not bad my friend not bad at all... but does this mean you dont have to post for the next 240.5 days?... Hhmmmm $963.63 is currently £737.28 now that's 87% of my monthly wage at the moment! god damn it need a better job... TO THE WORD PROCESSOR!!!

does this mean you dont have to post for the next 240.5 days?

That would probably make a lot of people happy. ;)

NEVER!! Post like the wind my friend!

nonsense dude, much love~! keep up the humor, it was WELL WORTH the read!

I'm upvoting purely for the golden ratio bit, hilarious!

THANK YOU for the comic relief on this subject. Glad I'm not the only one to see the similarities between the current steemit social climate and that of a high school popularity contest. Keeping my dreams in check helps me focus on the work, I guess :/

Getting salty just made you over 1k. Nice work.

There you go @tuck-fheman now you only need 400 more $1 Posts. Loved the post so you got my follow!

Lol, you made a grand.

Bravo @tuck-fheman, your drunk posting is far greater in its lack of spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes than my best work. You are a hero.

You change money from 1.32$ to 869$, you PR very well. @tuck-fheman

This is the best post I've seen thus far. Good work sir, good work.

A practical 10 year roadmap from @tuck-fheman. Thanks for the Fibonacci analysis on Brenda's boobies.

Power Up and embrace the suck Joe six pack! $1.32 x 4 will get you some PBR!

I feel that math is important. I wanted to back up my theory with some real statistics and I feel that I have achieved my goal. I hope that your analysis has proven my theory to be precise.

Stop trying to make that $15,000 post! It's just not going to happen.
Instead, start making 15,000 $1.00 post!

This is very true.

The platform could help itself by making the user experience more personalised. When the Following page is introduced that should be the default page when people sign in (not the trending page).

Categories should be a big focus and giving people the ability to watch new posts in categories of interest.

The focus should be less about what's "trending" and what's hot. That should be an interesting side note.

Making a dollar or ten dollars for an interesting observation intended for friends or like minded people should be seen as a decent return. Unfortunately the structure of the site encourages the misguided belief that making thousands is the norm. Hopefully this can be addressed in the coming months.

Oooh the Fibonacci number ! Good one !

Fuck Tuck..... Gave me the giggles. Sorry for language, but come on!

Funny!

Aaand he made well over $1000 in 19 hours with this very single post. Well done, and well earned! :D

Thanks! ;)

This made my day :)

Amen! Reality sucks sometimes!

This was quite hilarious.

Funny story, I know Brenda. She lives here in Acapulco. I was on their show, MTV's Acapulco Shore once in a staged fight (what, you thought reality TV was real?) ;)

This was a gloriously fun post to read. A sixer well spent!

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Hahah! Great post man, don't know how I missed this one. I have been living with this philosphy lately. After I created this account back in may (user 9000-10000) but forgot my password for a while and came back first after the first payouts, I've had the feeling to try and catch up as much as I can for the time I haven't spent steeming. As someone who used reddit a lot (same username) and really liked to comment, I spend most time commenting.

"Instead, start making 15,000 $1.00 post!"

I am almost at a 1:1 ratio with comments:steempower, hehe, and that just after commenting for a month. =)

Edit: this post had 420 votes so I didn't wanna destroy that with mine. :P

I like the post, very entertaining... But I do not understand why you do not appreciate that at least here we get something.... it might be pennies... but something... anyone else posting in Reddit/Twitter/Facebook does not get anything...

good point

in cats we trust)

@tuck-fheman

you complete me in everyway, especially when it comes to the tinfoil vigilante.

Really. Lets do a series together. The tinfoil vigilante comic strip. :D

:)

I LOL'd at your headline. I expect Dollar Vigilante is in a bit of shock and doesn't even know about how he had a little help from the whales. Meanwhile good point about writing many small posts.

People need to remember to upvote new posts too - if everyone upvoted five new non-steem posts a day, this site would be a lot healthier.

this is a masterpiece.. i'm been prepared since day 1

Good grief, Tuck, you are whining. Aren't you The Man?

And you've made around 1K bucks with this post. OK, after taxes deducted it will be far less so you should whine!


OK, joking, joking :) You are right, of course. Dollar per day and let's say 300 days per year. In no time, 12.46667 years to be exact, you'll have your $15K. Easy.

That's SBD, don't you forget. What will be one SBD worth 12 years from now? Will there be a SBD?

Will there be a USD?

To conclude this lament:

Whining is not an option!

what do you mean steemit wont make me rich but they said i would be worth billions for just replying to posts wtf say it aint so

There have an upvote ;)

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Seeing everyone bitch and moan about payouts is really annoying and I've only been around a week. I can't imagine what it's like for everyone who's been here since the beginning.

Frankly, most posts aren't good enough to be rewarded as much as they are. Everyone gets their panties in a twist when a meme makes a few hundred bucks. Why not just enjoy the fact that you're getting paid to post whatever the hell you want on a website?

EDIT: To be clear @tuck-fheman, I don't think you're bitching and moaning. I quite enjoyed your post.

Here is dreaming about the $1.32

More like $0.1 or $0.2 ...

Thanks for sticking up for the little guys, man. By far this will be most people's experiences. But you get paid nothing in Reddit, so it's a matter of perspective, right? It's like people at my work bitching about the management, well, it's better than the unemployment line!

This platform could make a huge difference for those who really put the time in. It took me a year to make inroads when Google Plus launched and then boom I hit 100K followers in just under the second year. Be consistent and post amazing ish!

Yes, patience is a virtue.

True dat!

i igree with you...

I totally disagree, Im all those things! Even just necked 6 fizzies too :D

Can't wait to make my first $1.32 in 12 Hours!

By then it will have declined to $0.80 or so :(

I'm just going to make 150,000 witty comments worth a dime apiece.

good luck my friend i see a lifetime of hard labor for you

That's fine. I'm enjoying it in here without plans of making it rich. Some of my witticisms are worth 100 percent less than my benchmark dime, and I'm ok with it.

Great idea!

Dude, you're 1/15th of the way there as of this post!

there is always that one kid from the hood that makes it to the NBA to get 1000s of others to spend all their money on Air Jordans

and no our breasteses will never look like Brenda's no matter how many Medicine Ball Pushups we do.

Doubt that, all I need is 20 more/day...at least for the male equivalent's

Woah, that was brutal

I think that you have to enjoy blogging and money will come one day!

By the way, it's quite difficult to make a 1 USD post, i think 10 cts is more likely. 150 000 posts at 10 cts each to reach 15K USD seems more realistic.

Yes yes yes!! Well said! (I just read his post too... This is so good!)

Personally, I've been happy receiving $0.02 for many of my posts... Keeps me in my place. I mean, I'd love to hit the trending page and gain all the $$$ and admiration and jealousy that goes along with it... Until then, I'll keep plugging away at it, and appreciating any and all feedback I receive

Is 15 grand of Steem worth 15 grand of USD? I doubt it. But I would be happy to be wrong.

Supposedly, it is!

We were not gifted with starry blue eyes

But you can have them for $420 or $418.68 net of your Steem blog earnings.

They had their moment ... and now it's gone.

At least it was exillirating while I held it my breasteses.

very good read!:)

Everyone has the "15 min of fame" moment....it is what it is :)

Thanks for the much needed laugh!

You're welcome, thanks for laughing!

Seems like frustration is another medium to generate money... hehehe. good read. funny for sure :)

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

I love Steemit and I am about to give it a hand to become more democratic.

I know this feeling and it doth sucketh indeed.

Haha men you had the same idea as me but you wrote a better post. Congrats on the 1K ;)

This was a very good read!

15.000 with 1 USD will be hard :D so i propose to calculate 1:10 hits the jackpot and makes you 10 Bucks the remaining 9 gets 0. Keep posting!

Ironically, I came across this post after watching "The people vs Larry Flint"! I guess in a way, Steemit allows "Larry's people" to profit without giving it all to Larry himself!

Great

Best post of the day!! You never know what you can achieve unless you put effort into it. Look at your post and the result, you are officially over $1K!!

Hahaha. Love it!

The measurements are all wrong on his breasteses. They are size 7.

I'd rather write a bot that posts 4 times a day....

I was going to say that you made a good point but a very pessimistic one... you can achieve high values from here, at least according to several blogs I've read where they say how they earn little to absolute zero until they managed to achieve something... and then again, from what I could gather, if you invest money here, your influence rises too. After all this, I saw you already got 1,042.17$ ahahahah. So there you have mate ;)

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

I'm guessing you are totally embracing – the success.

When you doing Math @tuck-fheman it is sexy too!

Math is "the sexy", indeed!

I'm sorry... I will not read 15,000 $1 posts.

in 'only' 3,740 days

Dude, that's more than 10 years! :P xD

Hihihi... you better write more , too funny... really

I couldn't tell if you were joking or not since I'm a new follower but I loved your post. The title was super funny and realistic.

Excellent points, and yes it is very difficult to attract upvotes from whales.
I got one. :)

The best post on steemit I've read so far!

..I got the jerk, nice point of view. This didn't come
out right.... Sounds like blasphemy

that were so perfect you'd swear that Jesus touched them (I really think he would in this case, no offense Jesus, but you know you would).