Rejection is a weapon to fight against various undesirable phenomena. If you want to achieve your goals, you must pay attention to methods, methods, and language arts. Sometimes, a clever rhetoric can really surpass a lot of bland preaching.
A young painter found a house nearby and said to his friend before moving: "I want to paint the walls of the room well, and then paint some pictures on the walls." A friend who knows the level of this young painter well. Persuade him: "You'd better paint on the wall first, and then paint the wall."
This good friend cleverly expressed his opinions using implicit methods, and the young painter would naturally think deeply about how to paint his own paintings. Of course, in daily life, we should all treat friends and classmates sincerely and actively help them. For those things that may cause misunderstandings, you should also be clear about your attitude
There are many problems, we can also cleverly set the other party in the same scene, so that the other party understands our situation or meaning, in order to achieve the purpose of cleverly rejecting the other party.
When people's thinking is moving in a certain direction, especially when people are in a state of excitement, imperative language and compulsive methods can have a deterrent effect. When encountering these emergencies, only by taking advantage of the situation and guiding them naturally with clever language can the purpose of reversing the situation be achieved.
The art of rejection by taking advantage of the trend and entanglement can effectively get people out of the predicament. However, we must pay attention to the natural and ingenious "connection" and the ingenious "connection", or it will be self-defeating.
Everyone has a psychological boundary set for rejection. Whether to reject or accept, all of us have a standard of judgment in our hearts. If the problems we face far exceed the bottom line of our rejection, we really cannot bear it. There is no doubt about it. , Rejection is your best choice. If we want to reject decisively, we must assume a standard for rejection and draw a boundary.
What are the boundaries? Simply put, it is your "psychological boundary". With this "psychological boundary", you can clearly know: which areas are yours and you are here. Once you cross the boundary, you will no longer be the real you. , And it’s not who you want to be anymore.
When we make the choice of rejection, this "psychological boundary" has already been drawn. Under the label of "psychological boundaries", we clearly understand our needs, preferences, values, outlook on life, and so on. Dr. John Townsend wrote a book in which he specifically discussed the "psychological boundaries" of people. People with sound "psychological boundaries" will have a clear attitude towards life and others, a very firm standpoint in doing things, a clear point of view, and they have their own pursuits and beliefs.
On the contrary, a person who has no "boundary" in life is precisely because he has no standard of judgment in his mind. Therefore, he is hesitant and ambiguous about what he does, regardless of whether he treats love or work, because he has no standard to refer to. , So it is impossible to make judgments and draw conclusions.
This kind of person is always in a passive position in the process of interacting with others. When facing the strong attitude of others, it is easy to compromise and give in to the other party, because their will is not firm enough, they lack their own position, and their ideas change. Change, hesitate.
When you don’t know what to reject, when you don’t know how to reject others cleverly, when you feel at a loss after rejecting others, have you ever considered that there is one more important thing, that is in your own Inwardly, assume a limit of rejection and use it to find a suitable position in social networks.
Of course, in all kinds of interpersonal communication, it is not enough to have only one rejection limit in our hearts. Below this limit, we have to go out in person, experience more, and act more. This means that after we have set clear boundaries, we must also think about how to artfully express what we want to refuse, so as not to hurt ourselves.
To have a bottom line of rejection, first make a clear distinction between right and wrong, so that public and private are clearly distinguished. Nowadays, society vigorously advocates the spirit of caring for others, being willing to contribute, and building a harmonious society. These spirits have a positive impact on the development of our individuals and the entire country.
We are social people. Everyone lives in a certain family, works and studies in a certain organization and a certain circle. We must associate with people of this kind and that kind. This is public. In the collective, we must strictly abide by the rules of the collective system, accept various rules in the social circle, and be good at communication... However, when accepting the collective, we must not forget to safeguard our own interests and satisfy our own "private" demands. Let yourself live happily, because we live well on our own, which will provide us with a steady stream of passion and vitality in public life.
Things that violate principles, things that violate laws and disciplines, and things that are beyond the scope of our ability. For us, these will interfere with our own private affairs. We should simply reject them. However, these are only from a large number of On the one hand, we have a lot of personal matters in our daily lives, such as our own interests, our own preferences, our own outlook on life, our own circle of friends, our own little emotions, our own little secrets... if we violate Given the bottom line in these areas, we must resolutely refuse. Orison Madden clearly told us in his words how to set the limits of rejection.
Simply put, when you are in a group, for example, when you are in a certain organization or in your social circle, you have to have relationships with many people. At this time, you must be independent and firm. Own position. Because what you stick to is what you want, it embodies your aspirations, your desires, so it's worth your brave pursuit.
What these people of different identities say in different situations all euphemistically express the meaning of rejection. However, rejection makes people comfortable and makes the rejected party particularly easy to accept. This balance of public and private is good for everyone. .