The Friendzone is a lousy excuse for sucking at relationships

in relationship •  8 years ago  (edited)

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Guilt.

Making other people feel guilty on purpose is probably one of the most egocentric and self-centered act of disrespect known to women and men. Don’t get me wrong; feeling guilty is a common occurence, and it’s important to realize when you screwed up and need to make up for it.

The main reason why selfish people are helping other people is for others to owe them things. The following statement is easily debatable, but I’ve heard someone say generous people are also helping others out of egocentricity since they take action for them to feel good about themselves. We often hear that nothing is more empowering and rewarding than to lend a hand for free. Never forget that helping others is also something we do for ourselves, but that should NOT be considered egocentricity.

People claiming they were friendzoned are completely off-track.

Playing with one’s emotions is shameful. Profiting from a friend that likes you to acquire things, services and other stuff should be considered heart-rape and should be punishable by the law. Meh. That was a bit hyperbolic but you probably get the point.

It is so easy these days to blame others for things and situations you don’t have control over. Let’s say you’re a girl, and you have the hots for your lady friend. You both like the same music and movie genres, both like to go out and play Pokémon GO at 3AM and both are passionate by space traveling. Only thing is she doesn’t want to bang you have highly emotional intercourse with you– in fact, she rather have you as a friend.

You’ve just crossed the last doorstep towards the zone of friendship from which none shall ever escape.
What a bitch, right?

friendzone friendship bnw image

The Good Guy theory

This meme was originally created because men are the ones who started ranting on about how they’re self-proclaimed good guys yet get rejected by other girls or guys they hit on.

It’s funny to think that Good Guys (they definitely deserve their bold, capital letters) believe helping friends is worth a torrid night or even a relationship. You often hear these people blame their crush for not liking them back. This is pretty much the same as being in a heavy metal band and blaming audiophiles who listen to classical music for not liking heavy metal. It just doesn’t work like that.

Let’s make it simpler

Since I’m a sarcastic, condescending nerd, I created a list of all the things you need to do in order to have anyone you demonstratively care about fall in love with you :

  • What the crud are you doing?
  • See previous bullet point.
  • Make sure first point it fully understood.
  • Be some kind of love droid with hypnosis capabilities.

You don’t choose when you fell in love. You don’t have the power over who you find attractive. Some people are focused on brain communication, some are more about physical appearance, but we all have our preferences and those are not a choice we made.

It’s also about looks

We all like challenge, but this is not exactly what dating and relationships are based on. I’ve heard some people say physical appearance is not important at all in a relationship, and it almost made me cry.

So that means they’d be fine going out with someone they don’t really find attractive, and I honestly don’t get how’s that even possible. Desire is indeed caused by the brain, but it is triggered by the senses; sight is one of them. Of course, it is possible to have a relationship with someone you don’t believe is the prettiest physically. Let’s get real : nobody is perfect nor is anyone perfect for someone else because there is always someone better. That doesn’t mean a couple cannot be happy, not at all. Moving on.

What if you are simply not attractive to your friend? It’s not their fault for having a type. It’s also not your fault for not being that type.

So whose fault is it?

Maybe Chewbacca's, the universe's itself, Donald Trump's; I don’t know. How easy is it to blame someone or something. Yeah, some people are statistically more attractive than others. Yeah, some gals have the hots for a type that never shows the slight hint of reciprocity. Some like curves, some like nerds, some like money, some like shy humans, some like emos.

You’re not in the bunch? Too bad. But don’t hate on your crush because he, she, ze, it likes 300lbs guys, girl, guys and girls, girafes and you can’t gain weight even after eating 19 poutines and a galon of iced tea.

Always remember you’ve probably friendzoned more people than you think. Probably because you’re awesome or whatever.

Happy ranting.

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Man, this is seriously good writing. I don't often feverously read things until the end here, but this was one of them.

It actually gripes me that I've just come from reading a total crud post on relationships with a whackload of upvotes that would get nowhere if you tried to submit it to anywhere half-professional..

And then I stumble across this magnificent piece. Bah, life lol