How To Counsel A Teenage Girl About Sexual Relationship

A young Lady ask me a question and I gave her a polite answer but after giving her the answer I was disturbed with myself... why did you give her such answer? up till now I am still wondering whether I was led by the Spirit or not to give her that answer...

Let's start the conversation.

She: Bro Paulinus, how many boyfriends can a girl have?

I: why do you ask?

She: sir because my friend has two and she said it's ok to have two.

I: why does she have two? And why do you even need a boyfriend in the first place... it look as though I was about shutting her out or down... by that question... I then rephrase my statement and her countenance also came back and I realized she is still free to tell me more... I was about shutting her freedom to share the secret with me.... is that wisdom? hmmm I don't know yet.

She: sir you know na... this boys will always come around even when you don't need them and at times they do help in so many ways.

I: o.k let me tell you something... If the kind of help you are talking about is what I'm thinking then let me tell you what you need to know and what you don't know...

1. One or two boyfriends will not be enough if it is for help... it won't be easy for one to buy you pant, pay for your hair do, pay for your shoes, cloths, bra, etc... You need more than five if that is what you where asking me.

2. How long will you live this way if you start now to depend on boys for your everything... Your father and mother is alive though you are living with your step mother and not your mother... it is not an excuse no matter how they treat you.

3. If you can take care of yourself and be happy with the little you have, you will be proud of yourself tomorrow... You will build a good reputation for yourself and have real confidence on yourself for a better and a great future not depending on boys or men... not that they won't come around to offer help... some you take and some you ignore depending on motives.

4. With what I am saying to you, will you still need a boy to help you? If you do need a boyfriend for help, then one, two, three, four, and even five will not be enough... You need twenty five... one for shoes, one for hair, another for hair do, another for make up, another for pants, another for always, another for cloths etc.

5. Nothing comes for free even in free town... everything has a price.. . even when the price is not written on it.

6. I wish you didn't think in that way at all... I wish you didn't have to reason that way... because I don't know if what I'm saying is enough to change your mind about it... but let me ask you a question. As someone (boy/girl, man or woman) ever bless you with gift before when you ask and when you don't ask?

She: Yes sir

I: That was God touching them to do so... will you tell me it was because they were your boyfriends?

She: No sir....

I: The day you let God know that you are having a boyfriend so that he can help you buy pant, bra, shoes, cloths, etc.... that favour from God and the grace to ask from anyone and get what you want might cease or stop... then you will be moving from one broken heart to another... because you can never satisfy the boys.

They will always be boys when they are not satisfied born again or not... and you will always be complaining of a broken heart and you will always be saying boys are wicked and you won't be able to put yourself together when you finally need a man and not a boy.

Many ladies can't marry because of their past experience with boys and many men can't marry because of their past experience with girls... don't let that happen to you... look around and learn from others experience. don't let it happen to you before you learn... smiling.

I wish you take what I say to you very important.

Did I say don't have a boyfriend?

She: No sir

I : Did I also tell you to have one?

She: No sir...

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I: I had a friend that used to spend so much for me... as a student she had money because her parents wanted her to be comfortable as their first child and she use to sponsor my crusade... and youth conferences... her parent supported her a lot and they help to raise her well... she buys me cloths etc... but I don't remember ever buying her something because I didn't have money then and I wasn't ready to steal my father's money to do so.

And I always wanted to steal my father's money to also buy something for her at least on her birthday and Christmas.... for five years of knowing her before she got married to someone else because I was not ready.... she got married at the age of 22/24... a very nice age and early.

She was the person that did the spending... she was just happy being in my life and she was satisfied... ever since then... I have not seen such a lady... in character and otherwise... I was young and we were devoted. God was the only thing that was taking our time... from Uma Ukpais fellowship to Cyril Gina Bassey church etc.

Then they was no full life and power city, it was God. She might be reading this message and she might not... but I can't forget those days in my life... that was the very first girl I can tell I had as a girlfriend... my father and my mother loved her... If she visit, it was always with a big bread.

She even help to pay my friends house rent of 12,000 naira then... she was good... now don’t ask me how I felt bla bla... for the record... we didn't have sex... it was pure and real... I know you might have said in your mind sex must have kept her with me... not every relationship is sex base... it all depends on how you start and the motives of the people involved... and don't ask me how we met... that story will be longer than this one.

Why did I have to tell you this? Just to help change your mindset that you need a man to help get you anything.... some girls don't think that way... they think they can help a man to his destiny... truly.... and whatever you do today, they help in building the character of the personality you will become tomorrow.

And the kind of person you will be tomorrow is not far from what you do today, think, and be devoted for God.... some people devote their youthful life for boyfriend/girlfriend things.... it's what dominate their minds.... such a life is dangerous.... watch your thought, they become your character.... and your character becomes the person that people see .... Your today builds your personality for tomorrow...

Don't do what others are doing...
Be yourself....
Did I answer your question? Or be of help to you?

She: yes sir...

Ok

I wish I did....

Smiling Always.

Lastly, teenager can act funny sometimes in the issues of relationship and it's your responsibility to guild and point them to the right direction. Don't forget to follow me for another relationship updates.