An open letter to the other woman....

in relationships •  6 years ago 

Hey

I know this is probably very unexpected and random. Please understand I am not trying to hurt anyone or cause further damage. Believe it or not, but this message comes from a place of love.

You see in my life and relationship, you are the other woman. I am not quite sure when you came onto the scene. I came across your chat with my man a couple days ago and my emotions has taken me on a crazy roller coaster ever since. I told my sister about what I found and her advice was to "break the laptop over his head", lol. I realize that might be the normal response from most women. Fortunately I have been on a very spiritual journey the past couple of months and I am trying to be aware of emotions, where they come from and why we feel them. Jealousy, apparently is brought about when a third party comes into the picture and you feel threatened that what you perceive as yours might be taken away. Anger is the response to being hurt, and sadness the response to loss and disappointment.

Off the three jealousy is definitely the ruling emotion at the moment. For the most part I've been able to work through my emotions, and despite what happened, I still love this man. This I feel is indicative of just how strong I am psychologically - that I am able to rise above my emotions. But that little green monster though...he just won't go away.

I have been trying to reason with myself that it is possible to love two people..after all, when we boil it down to pure nature, I am still the alpha female. I have the breeding rights...I don't have to share him physically...I should be content with that. But no, I am human. And more than that, I am a WOMAN, and having your presence in the background of my relationship is just too much. The harm comes not from the fact that he cares about you, or maybe even loves you. It comes from the lack of transparency brought about by this affair. The lies..and how he tries to hide you from me...the deceit....THAT is what's causing the damage, and that is what's hurting the most....every time he turns the screen of his cell phone so I can't see that he is texting you....

And here is the irony of the situation; the lies and deceit is not only affecting me; It affects you too, because he is lying to you too. The realization of that hurts like hell doesn't it? And now you have to make peace with the fact that while he has spoken sweet words to you, I am the one he wakes up next to in the morning, and I am the one he goes to bed with at night. I am the one cooking for him and taking care of him. I am the one holding his hand when we go for long walks on the beach. I am the one that sees his smile every day and the one that calms him down when he's had a bad one. I don't know where our relationship will lead us, but I do know that for now at least, I am the woman in his life, and I need you to back off, please.

Much love
The girlfriend

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