I Have a Grievance I Would Like to Air.

Everyone has their way of letting out their frustrations. My avenue of venting is writing. I find it very therapeutic. For those that don't know my history I used to work in inpatient mental health. I am a nurse and a mental health counselor. Writing was one of the methods we would teach our clients. Maybe someday I will share some of my experiences behind the locked doors of a psychiatric unit. Today I want to talk about how hurtful it is when a friend disappears because they entered into a new relationship.

The Early Years.

My best friend and I have known each other since we were six years old. Our friendship was as pure as it gets. Two boys tearing up the neighborhood building snow forts, playing hide and seek in the apartment complex, going fishing, playing sports, beating the shit out of each other and having each others backs at school.

You see, we both grew up in the inner city of Rochester, NY. When my parents divorced my Mom could not afford to live in the suburbs so we moved to the city. This meant that we went to inner city schools. The racism people talk about is different than what we experienced. We were white kids in predominantly non white schools. Being teased, harassed and challenged to fights was a regular part of my life. We grew up tough and were quite seasoned by high school. By the time we were in 10th grade we had earned the respect of our non white peers.

Post High School.

By this time our friendship began to drift apart. I was leaving to be in the US Navy and my friend decided to attend University locally. Whenever I would come home to visit we would get together, catch up and have fun. This went on for eight years when I finally decided that the military was not for me and my anti-authoritarian mentality was getting me nowhere fast.

I left the Navy and moved multiple times around the country but we always stayed friends. He was there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. He would never judge me for my mistakes. I would do the same for him. Relationships would come and go but we never lost touch.

My Rough Patch.

After a few years of really struggling I moved home to pursue my RN (Registered Nurse) degree. He offered to let me live with him. So for two years we had a blast while I attended school and worked long hours at the hospital. Then I got married but life sucked! My friend was still there for me. That marriage was short and horrifying. She hated my friend and did not want me to hang out with him despite the fact that we only lived a few minutes away. I understood how difficult it is to make friends as adults and I was not going to let this woman hurt that.

Starting Over.

Then after finally breaking off the relationship I knew I needed a break from everything. So I moved to Tampa, FL and began building my life again. I lived with my Brother. We had a good time as we learned about business, hung out with famous athletes and made many good friends.

Then my Brother got shipped to Iraq and once again life took a turn. In all of the mayhem my friend was there for me and came to visit. He assured me that I would get back on my feet. I did and life was good. I returned to working in mental health and lived a good life, even as the economy was disintegrating around me.

Opportunity Brought Me Home.

After some circumstances changed,it was time for me to move back home to Rochester, NY. So once again I moved back in with my friend. This time it was only for six months. I chose to buy a foreclosure and remodel it. I moved in within a few months and my friend and I were reunited. We were supportive of each other and regularly went out and talked business and our futures.

3 years later I felt like I was not getting ahead. I was not making any forward progress in my life. I missed the beautiful weather of Tampa, FL and the positive energy. So after a few months of talking to family and my friend I made a drastic decision. I was going to move to Panama and begin my life as a full time entrepreneur.

The Move to Panama.

Even though I moved thousands of miles away to a far off land I still kept in regular touch with my friend. He even came to visit shortly before @AnaHilarski and I got married. The two of them got along great and throughout the last five years the two of them have gotten along great.

Even though I was so far away we were still supportive of each other. Whenever he had something he wanted to talk about my Facebook Messenger would ring and I would stop what I was doing and make time.

What the Hell Happened?

Fast forward to today and I have not spoken with my friend since his dog passed away. He is now getting married and has a little one on the way. The only information I get is via his fiances Facebook profile. No contact for any holidays, birthdays or the random hellos that I have grown accustomed to over the last 20 years. My calls go unanswered and messages not received.

The only difference I see is that he entered into a relationship. Whenever I was in a relationship I was always there for my friend so when the opposite happens I can't help but feel pissed off.

What Do You Think?

I know people grow out of relationships but dam, this seems so shallow. I have never treated people like this. All of my friends are terrible at being friends. I used to tell my Mom that the only reason I am still friends with most of them is because I am the one sending the messages, making the calls and keep the candle burning.

It Doesn't Have to Be This Way!