"Why has my boyfriend put me on hold and what can I do to break free?"

Hello Nomad-Magus,

Nine months ago my boyfriend broke up with me after three amazing years of being together. He reasoned his decision by his desire to have other experiences in life and especially with other partners (he was 22 years old then). Since the break up he has put me on hold, so to speak. He has given me to understand that one day he might want me back and although I have decided not to remain in such a position (that is to wait for him) he has repeatedly managed to enter my life to create havoc for several days until I balance myself and relax.

I know for sure that he still loves me. But why does he act like this? What is he thinking?

Please don’t tell me that I should carry on with my life, because I have done, regardless of the difficulties and the suffering. And I am proud of myself for it!

S.Madar

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Dear S.,

The person who puts you on hold was/is YOU!

Your ex-boyfriend was very honest with you and explicitly told you the truth – wanting to exhaust life to the fullest before making a lifelong decision. You may consider such behavior an expression of emotional immaturity and spiritual deficiency. To that, one may add fear of the unknown, fear of commitment and thoughtlessness. However, this was his decision. He never asked you to wait for him, did he? The times he came back into your life were a mere reflection of your own willingness to allow such comebacks to occur.

You have to release more. Your emotional involvement is still grave and he still resides in your emotional energetic field. Part of the releasing requires emotional detachment and you still have not fully achieved it.

Indeed, he still loves you. In his own way, he has feelings for you that he compares to the feelings he has for others he has met in the past months. These comparisons are a phase that he has to go through in order to know what you already know. That is to convince himself of the decision he has to make. You, on the other hand, have the ability to pierce through reality right into the core of the energy and to realize what is appropriate for you and what is not. As a human (I will get back to this point, keep reading).

The question as always is what you would choose to do now. Would you succumb to the belief that says you have no control over your life or would you focus on the things that you desire and allow them to manifest?

Only when you are able to create true detachment on all levels – emotional, physical and mental – will you create a chain reaction that will propel your romantic life forward. To do that you need to live as if you have never known him and therefore cannot think of him at all. Now, regrettably, you bind the potential solution to a specific predictable path that you have in your mind and this is not the way that energy works.

The unpredictable solution will emerge in your life once you allow the energy to flow freely.

The Human you

Try for a moment to rise above the emotional havoc and see the situation from your master level. As such, you know that your realization is most important and definitely stands as a first priority compared to being in a relationship. Therefore, from the soul level, the break-up was an agreement between you two. Its purpose is to allow you to reconnect with the inner you and grow fast. In time, the appropriate relationship will come to your life.