What I never thought would change between my sister and I

What's the relationship with your relatives like? Are you good friends with your siblings?

Being 35 now, for 2 whole decades I could proudly say that my sister and I were the best friends in the world. We could tell each other anything and there was never any judgement between us. I loved her dearly, as she did me. Don't get me wrong, I still love her just as much but our relationship has changed the last few years and I can't say it's towards the better, on the contrary. What's happened to us? I don't really know, we changed our way of thinking, we have different views on the world now. It bothers me a lot, but there's nothing I could do to change it.

My mum said, when I first met her I was 17 months old and I asked her to take my sister back to the hospital because she cried too much. As we grew older we fought a lot, pulling each other's hair out and shouting a lot just like good little sisters do. Once she bit into my back so much that it started bleeding. We took joy in annoying the hell out of each other.

Then suddenly puberty came, our parents were the 'enemies' and my sister and I became best friends, us against the evil parents. We covered each other's backs so we wouldn't get into trouble with them. She was the first one I shared the details of my first kiss, my first sexual experience, and she told me about hers. It went on like this until we became adults, having one circle of friends, we went out together getting high and drunk, holding each other when we were sick from drinking.

Our paths separated in our 20s when I moved to the UK and she to Greece. We kept in touch the whole time, always knowing about the other's current boyfriend troubles and nothing changed when we reunited again, we still got on very well just like best friends do. We were together 24/7 when we went traveling in Asia for 9 months and we had an awesome time. Many people on our way told us they admired us for it as they could never spend so much time with their sibling without killing them. I didn't understand why, it's so much easier to be with a sister who you feel 100% comfortable with than a friend who's only known you for a few years.

We came back from Asia, I met my husband Peter and I moved away from our common home. That's when our sisterly relationship changed a lot. We never talked about anything deeper than what came in the mail anymore. I tried to stay in close contact with her, then to reunite with her when I realized what was happening, but somehow it just wasn't the same. First I thought it was just temporary and we’d be back to being best friends again, but we just grew more apart as the months went by. We never talked anymore unless I asked her how she was and even then she usually just said fine, same old.

Could it be that seeing me happy with the love of my life reminds her that she hasn’t found hers yet? She always used to say that she cares so much for others while I only ever think about myself…and then it’s me, not her who finds real love and is happy with her life?! How can that be?

But of course that’s not all of it, it’s probably also our interests that are so different now made us grow apart. She loves anything spiritual, organic, handmade and from the nature, she thinks it will bring her happiness, while I am a realist who just wants things done, I like things clear cut and simple. She's also developed a craving for success and wealth recently. At times she can annoy me to death with her world view, but I try not to show it as I know it wouldn’t do any good.

I still cry when she cries and I feel like my heart is being ripped out when she’s sad because she is my flesh and blood and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. She does call me when she's feeling low and I try to calm her down as much as I can. But she’s not interested in me when she is well and happy.

I pretend that this doesn’t bother me, but it makes me sad because I miss my little sister and I don’t know how to get her back. I wish I could say it will be different when we move closer to home as we’ll be able to spend more time together, but things will never be the same between us again.

I showed her this article before posting it here and since then we've been talking more. She realized I am actually interested in her and in her life so she started to share things with me again. Hopefully this will continue and we'll be there for each other, even though we probably won't be best friends again.

How do you stay close to your siblings? Do you talk daily or weekly, can you rely on them 100% no matter what?
I know for some people it might not be important to be close to their siblings, maybe they were not brought up that way or there is too big of an age gap between them.
But I think #family is important and it's good to have people who know you throughout your life, someone who is there for you whenever you need them, to share your joy and sadness.