Unrealistic expectations in relationships.

The age old, rather recent question of whether porn is setting up men to have unrealistic expectations of women and sex has been making the rounds on the internet, particularly as porn becomes less taboo and moreover considered a legitimate means of exploring a person's sexuality.

The problem with porn as many people, both women and men, would say, is that it breeds unhealthy concepts of objectifying the opposite sex, breaking the balance of give and take in favour of (instant) self-gratification. It can lead to expectations beyond what is realistic and by comparison, leave a person feeling unsatisfied. We've seen this explored in the movie "Don Jon" where the lead male character develops an unhealthy addiction to porn and masturbation where it interferes with his enjoyment of intimacy with his real life partner whom he loves very much, but doesn't satisfy him in bed.

The fact is, social media isn't helping with this issue as more people seek to use it as a market place for sex. We already know that social media is a fertile breeding ground for gold diggers, but it is also becoming a degenerate farm churning out more and more sexualised content as well.

Reading between the lines, it is often forgotten that women also fall victim to the same issue as men do. Perhaps not in the sexual gratification sense, the literal digital smut and visual stimulus that most people refer to as porn, but instead, the female equivalent. The romance novel, rom coms, the 50 shades of Gray, Harlequin et al.

These are vices which warp a woman's mind just as much as digital porn does for men. There are even those who would defend female porn stating that it's different because it's not explicit, or that it is in written format but I would ask :

Do you not create fantasies in your mind that are not based on reality?

Do you not fantasise about men besides a spouse/boyfriend?

Does this also not lead to self gratification?

With social media in the mix, it becomes a cesspool for both men and women to act out their sexuality and create havoc in both marital and dating relationships. Don't ever overlook the female porn equivalents which ignite a woman's mind and take her down the road of lust and often promiscuity.

Next time you blame porn for unrealistic expectations, think about which porn you're referring to, the kind for men, or the kind for women.